It's getting tougher

Salam.

I still remembered that one fine day. On February. I'm sitting at that one table. In the Library. You went out. And I'm waiting for you to join me after you settled down. Then you came. Sitting in front of me. Acting out. 

U: Boleh saya duduk sini?

Me: Duduklah.

U: Hai. Boleh berkenalan?

Me: Urm...

U: Saya dah lama perhatikan awak. Dah lama minat kat awak. Boleh kita berkawan?

Me: I'm speechless. I don't know what I should answer. He's really acting out. Like it's real. I'm freaking myself out.  Felt like yelling so that he STOP!!! But I can't. The only thing that went out of my mouth is NOTHING. 

U: Bolehlah ea? Kita berkawan? Awak, jawablah. 

Me: Dahlah tu. Janganlah main2.

U: Smiled. Macamana kalau betul? Pernah bayangkan tak kalau wani tengah study betul2 ada orang datang macam tu? 

Me: Yes. He's right. What if it really happened. How will I react? With myself not stable. (I guess this is what I felt that time)

Then u stopped acting and joined me studying. 

I still remembered that situation. That day where I still have this kind of phobia with guys. And not ready with any new relationship with guys. But U waited for me. To be prepare myself. To be ready. You came from no where, and in no time u got close..., not to me but to my heart.

It's tough at first. But somehow, i get through it. And I'm just making sure I'll stick to what I have. Not turning you down. You used to say that, "Love is not everything, it should have trust, loyal and sacrifice." Villa used to say the same thing. "Love have sacrifice".

But now, it's getting tougher. I really hope that I can get through. I really hope that you can get through. And I really hope that we'll get through. I really do hope so. Coz sometimes I do felt like giving up. And running away. To an unknown place. But I know I can't. I won't solve anything. I just need to be strong to face it. 

Life's hard. But it will be worth going. The strength is within ourselves. We just need to search it deep inside. I really hope that we'll get through. InsyaALLAH. Coz ALLAH knows whats best for us all. 

P/S: Singing the song Where we are (Westlife) over and over again.

But, Jodoh pertemuan ajal maut itu kan ALLAH yang tentukan.