Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dgn jalan sabar dan mengerjakan
sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.

Al-Baqarah 2:45

2018-04-27

2nd child.

Assalamualaikum,
Alhamdulillah I safely delivered our 2nd child on 6/Apr. This is one date that used to be so important one while ago. Things changed, and no reason to be remembered then. But now, I have a child with this date as birthday so, oh well, kena ingat juga. 

We tried to have a normal delivery. But Allah plans better. I had 2nd EMLSCS due to same reason FD. Maybe, stress during labour is just not for me. It's quite frustrating you know. Sebab belajar AMANI masa time Aydan, but in the sense of application, I failed. Twice failure. And it was a traumatic experience. Though post operation,  I feeled much better than the first time, but overall,  I barely want to talk about the experience. The first one, I hardly can move on the first day, badan angin je. my Urine bag was only taken off like 12 hrs after? But 2nd one, I can move(slowly I mean) in 6 hrs, Urine bag was off in 6 hrs. 

Ok. Baby. It's a boy. My rules was if a boy, biarlah Muhammad A. If a girl, Nur/Nor F. A bit of combination of both parents. Sebab nak dapat anak pun bukan senang kan. EMLSCS pulak tu. 😅 Different from Aydan, I conceived adik accidentally/unexpectedly. Macam Aydan, kita hoping/trying to conceive. So nama adik have to mean something like rezeki/anugerah/hadiah dan memenuhi syarat Muhammad A. We found one tapi the word is not in Arabic. So masa day 10, tengah q kat KK untuk follow up adik's jaundice(which now Alhamdulillah dah tiada), I browsed through website nama nama anak lelaki(again) for the tak tau la berapa kali. And found Aysar. Tanya Kak Ngah. Kak Ngah cakap ada banyak maksud but kita ambil yang baik baik which is kaya/mudah. Kak Maz(kakak opis kesayangan) cakap "InsyaAllah kaya akhlak dan harta, mudah di bawa bicara..ameen". Kaya sebab rezeki yang Allah s.w.t bagi without kami sangka. Ya Allah, murahkanlah rezeki kami. Tu termasuk dalam doa lepas solat hari hari so Alhamdulillah Allah s.w.t. dah makbulkan. Mudah, sebab yelah, unexpected conceive kan. So tanya Abam. And he agreed. 

I know. Still envy dengan those kenalan/friends/ipar duai yang dapat bersalin normal. So banyak kali try pujuk hati. Hadiah dari Allah. Hadiah dari Allah. Yang penting anak sihat. Yang penting anak sihat. Tipulah kalau cakap camni je dah boleh lupa. A friend of mine dah pregnant anak no 4 dah. Boy.boy.girl.no 4 tak tahu boy ke girl ke. Dia tak expose lagi. Made me feel sangat loser amongst ipar duai sebab semua boleh normal tau. Let me heal myself. All these feelings need time.

Aiman made a joke. He said. Aiman tahu anak kakla yang lepas ni nama apa. "Ayman". Macam tak boleh je nak letak nama Ayman. Sebab bapa saudara yang rapat kan. Nanti confuse. Just hope, if ada rezeki nak pregnant lagi 3 years, ada rezeki girl pula. Yet somehow, IDK if I can forget the traumatic experience. Nak demand klu next bersalin nak bersalin Andorra or Annur, macam 8k, banyak benda boleh buat duit tu. Simpan lah diit sikit2 dari sekarang. 

Semoga, dengan rezeki anak, murah rezeki kami sekeluarga. My hope is high on my career. Nanti balik kerja tinggal lagi 6 months. Bulan 10 boss dah start evaluate. So hopefully performance bagus, dapat rating at least 3 lagi and gaji naik lagi. If dapat naik grade lagi bagus. Yeah. My hopes are high. Since takde plan nak pindah tempat kerja kan. And, ada wawasan 2020. Maybe 2021. We'll see. 

Thank you & have a nice day,
Nor Alwani Binti Amran

2018-04-23

Dunia dah terbalik

Assalamualaikum 

Sekarang dunia dah semacam terbalik
The husband complaint, merajuk bila si isteri xde duit nak bayar susu anak. Where else husband's obligation bayar nafkah, makan minum anak anak dan isteri. Take for granted all this while wife yang bayar most of the things, susu anak, diapers anak sendiri, guna duit sendiri.  

Or when anak dah kahwin, but bapak still nak hulur duit or tanya anak ada duit tak bila mintak anak belikan something. Tebal muka nak cakap takde duit. Though it's the last rm50, and next week baru dapat gaji, I'll always try to say 'ada'. But gaji is like next week baru masuk. So jenuhla ngorek tabung lepas tu kan...

Thank you & have a nice day,
Nor Alwani Binti Amran

You know what’s beautiful?

Your eyes blinking, your pupils dilating when you’re euphoric, the curve of your smile, the shade of your teeth, the arch of your back, the fingers typing, the breathing thing you do, the thoughts. Your thoughts. How you think is beautiful; how a thought comes to mind is…a miracle, how you operate, how you are; just you. In every sense of the word; all your blood cells, neurons, organs, your limbs, your soul. You are breathtaking, mashaa’Allaah.


:D

You can’t control the things that happen to you but you can control the way you react to them. It’s all perception.
You Again (Movie)

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