Mei 2007.

Mei 2007. That's the starting. Now Julai 2011. Kiralah dah berapa tahun. Kalau tu umur seorang kanak kanak, dah boleh masuk tadika dah. Last few months, my words made you cry. Or at least, that's what I thought. And today, I cried. Macam hati runtun baca kata kata itu. What happened? Mana boleh saya biarkan awak macam tu je.

Nightmare, again.

Salam.

Last night, i had a nightmare. It was sooooooo not cool to have a nightmare. Waking up in the morning, I felt restless although i slept way early last night. I dreamed that Mr Celcom died. I know, it was over between us, but having that kind of dream isn't a nice thing to happen. Told this to sanchez. He says that, this dream means that Mr Celcom is going to live long. And just to pray the best. May Allah bless Mr Celcom, always. Amin. 


Leaving.

Hi. I don't feel good this few days. Happy, I am. indeed. It's just that, I'm not growing up. And I guess this frustrates everyone. And now, the only person that never leaves me since 2006, walked away. Saying goodbye. Bad, aren't I?

Excited!

Salam. Kakak is flying tonight. So, I'm on my way to the airport to meet her. It's a sudden decision. Asked daddy, asked friend, asked another kakak, and I'm lucky enough that my dear friend is available this evening. Thus, I can go meet kakak. With friend as the driver of course. Lucky to have a nice friend. Hehe. So dear kakak, we've come all the way just to see you going to fly. And if you ever say that I don't love you, I'm so gonna debik you, make you eat a lot until you become fat. Haha. Okay. Till then, have a nice day people~

p/s : perhaps I can do the food hunt today? Hopefully. ;p

Abang dan kakak dan kakak dan kakak.

Good morning people~
Rise and shine. It's Saturdayyy. I'm not sure of going out for food hunt on this afternoon or tomorrow. Cause my friend is kinda busy and out of reach. Normally, if friend is out of reach, it means that friend is busy. But I still hope that it's going to happen. Craving for it alreadyyy. =(

Okay. Last few days, I was talking to this friend. Kakak. She was going to be married like few months away. And she told me about not preparing things for door gift of her nikah. Erk, nikah apa dalam bi? Cause the reception is going to be held end of this year. So, I'm thinking of a bestfriend's girlfriend(bf's gf). Which sometimes I refer as kakak. This bf's gf is selling cupcakes. I saw she's selling cupcakes/muffins lately. Errr, how can we differ muffins and cupcakes? ;p Bought kakak's cupcakes and gave to another kakak a few of it. And if it goes well, I hope it does, kakak will be ordering from kakak. Hehe. I don't know why but it excites me that I can get along with bf's gf. Bestfriend is like my big brother and kakak is so nice. Having kakak around is like I'm having another big sister. I really hoped that they will get married and lived happily ever after.

And here's another kakak. I'm not sure currently she's in which state. She went for an exam last few days. I hoped that she passed. We don't have time to talk about it yet but I hope that it goes wll for her. It's just that... If she passed the exam with flying colours, it means that she might be spending her whole life somewhere in Kelantan. Oh nooo! It's a faraway land. I guess, we're not going to be this close anymore. But hey! I really hoped that she'll be happy with whatever she's doing and whatever she thinks the best for her. A friend should be happy for another friend's happiness right?

I'm sad hearing things that happen with dear cousie. Hoped that can meet cousie.

I guess, I still believe that people can change for a better person, no matter how bad they used to be. Because what's past is past. If you're bad in the past, it doesn't means that you're a bad person right now. And if you used to be a nice person, it doesn't means that currently you're a nice person. People can really change, ya know?

Congratulations Puan Ain and Encik Hamidi.

Salam.

With Puan Ain. 

*I stole smaller sister's shawl ;p*

Congratulations Puan Ain and Encik Hamidi. May your marriage stays until heaven. And granted beautiful children by heart. Soleh and solehah each and every one of them. It's a last minute decision. I've been trying to find ways to go for this wedding since last week. The wedding is somewhere in Johor. I asked kakak. Asked practicum mate. Asked university colleagues. PPSMers. Since they are planning to convoy. But somehow, it looks like every car is full. The space is occupied. I won't have problem going. But the problem of how to come back to Selangor is what that matters. Since, I thought of going for a best friend's brother's wedding which is on Sunday(today) that at the end I didn't even go to. Haha. Sorry Zahira. I don't have transport. And and, I'm still tired of yesterday's journey. Back pain. 

Luckily the problem of how to go back settled. Thanks to Farah and Mimah which somehow thought of many different ways and suggestions for me. And to Farah for accompanying me all my way back to Selangor. And to Yana who helped us buying the tickets earlier. Problem solved. 

Oh. On Friday evening at 6.30 pm, I am suppose to meet up Syafiq and others at MASJID JAMEK. What I had in mind is the Masjid Jamek LRT station. Arrived at the LRT station, I called Syafiq. It was horror. Since I only have Syafiq's number kept in my phone and I don't have others number. And yes. At emergency times like that, My Celcom phone is sick and out of credit. When I finally get through, I realised that I'm suppose to go for MASJID JAMEK instead. Oh my. Never been there. Walked myself confidently, I saw the mosque's kubah. And did saw Syafiq in his car. Haha.

It was five of us in the car at first. Syafiq, Azhar, Shyzuan, Safawa and me. I rarely talked to Safawa while we were still a student. So, what happened when you're in a car full of actuarist? Well, I laughed when they cracked jokes, and gained some knowledge from their conversations. Although I don't understand much. Still, it's knowledge. Oh, my stomach aches because of too much laughing. The stopped at BBB Tomyam for dinner at 8+ p.m.. Since, that is one of their favorite restaurant while we are still students. 

At BBB Tomyam, we met Sarra, Yati, Mimah, Farah and Farah KTHO. Then we exchange the passengers, since Azhar needs to drive Sarra's car. Thus, Farah KTHO joins Syafiq's carpool. Around 10, we started our journey again. Since there was lots of cars on road, we arrived JB at 3 a.m.

Arriving at Ain' place by 12+, I met Yana, Siti, Aida and Ida. Oh. Ain of course. By 1.30+ she was ready for the event. Dressed Blue+white coloured dress, she looked gorgeous. Encik Hamidi arrived by 2.00+. And the photography session starts. Oh, since it's a Johorean wedding, of course there were tolls on the bridegroom's way to meet up the bride. 

By 3.00+ I'm ready to head back to Selangor. It's a short time to meet up Ida and share stories. I almost cred saying goodbye to her. The bus ticket was at 4.30. Since Mimah was on her way back to her hometown, she followed me and Farah to the bus station. Thanks to Syafiq for sending us there. 

Arrived the TBS at 9+ p.m. Daddy and other sisters arrived there already to pick me up. 

And this journey, its a nice one. Although I almost get a heart attack because of something unexpected, I'm glad that I finally make it to be there on Ain's red letter day. There is this few sentences that I still remembered until today. It was very meaningful. Since it was from a guy friend that have known me since first year , it made my day. I mean like, your friends actually have your back. Sometimes, they are watching from afar. And praying that you get the best in your life. But we sometimes don't notice that.

Thank you for the, "I'm glad to hear that." and others.

Above all, thank you everyone for this journey. Mummy, Daddy. Friends. It's a less than 24 hours meet up, yet it made my day. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal.

Sahabat.

Salam.

Sahabat ada buat post baru. You. post itu untuk I ke? If untuk I, I tak tau bila dapat jumpa you or tak tahu bila I dapat face you. I tak tahu. Dalam keadaan macam ini, I tak kuat nak jumpa sesiapa pun.

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal.

Rose ball itu.

Salam.

ROse ball dah sampai.

Khamis lepas.

Dan orang itu terharuuuuu~

I kan sayang kan u, Cik Aina.

=))

 

surprise~ [2]

Salam.

Surprise itu sedang dalam perjalanan ke tempatnya... Ke dah sampai? Jeng jeng jeng.

Untuk siapa?

=)

apa dalamnya?

Hari tu pergi mall cari daalah ni lah. Sampai2 umah, fikir2, tengok balik gambar kat profile picture cik Anggun tu baru sedar, yang dia pegang tu dari riben. Macam boleh buat sendiri jep. Yang ni kedai punya. Kalau siap buat sendiri, I upload kat sini. Tapi boleh start buat lepas MPPB. So, lambat lagi lah. Nak try buat. Nak try buat! 

Nanti boleh jual~~~

 Harap2 dia suka. =)

Saya sayang awak, awak tau tak?

Salam.

Saya sayang awak. Awak tahu tak?

Saya dah tak tahu macamana lagi nak tunjukkan pada awak yang saya sayang kan awak.

Saya tak mungkin akan belikan awak pulau untuk awak diami.
Atau belikan awak rose ball.
Atau belikan ipod itouch.
Atau belikan jersi original Arsenal.
Atau belikan beg camping yang besar2.
Atau carikan awak kasut yang hilang.
Atau hantar awak buat pembedahan liposuction atau buat satu gym dan sediakan trainer peribadi untuk pastikan perut awak dah tak buncit.
Atau buat kenduri yang jamu nasi minyak semata-mata sebab awak mengidam.
Atau isikan akaun bank awak dengan trillion dolar UK.

Atau pergi lawat awak hari-hari.
Atau pergi cari Hlovate.
Atau pergi cari CIA atau FBI untuk trace awak kat hospital mana supaya saya dapat lawat awak walaupun awak tak bagi sebab saya teringin sangat nak jumpa awak.
Atau pergi majlis graduasi awak.
Atau sediakan modal dan surat-surat semua untuk perniagaan awak.
Atau pergi jauh-jauh dari awak sebab awak suruh saya pergi jauh-jauh.
Atau tolong carikan gadis/jejaka sebagai teman hidup awak.

Tak. Saya takkan(mampu) buat semua itu.

Tapi apa yang saya dapat buat hari-hari adalah doakan supaya awak sihat dan bahagia selalu di samping keluarga yang tercinta.
Dan saya doakan kita dapat berjumpa semula di SYURGA ALLAH yang kekal abadi di akhirat nanti.

Saya nak awak tahu, walaupun saya/awak tak message atau call atau jumpa atau waiem awak/saya sehari, dua hari, seminggu, dua minggu, berbulan2 atau bertahun-tahun sekalipun, saya sayang kan awak.

Tak bercakap tak bermaksud benci. Saya memberikan awak peluang untuk rindukan saya. Sebab saya rindukan awak. =P

P/S : kalau awak baca, post ini untuk awak juga. =)

sanchez.

Salam.





awak kata jgn hilang. jgn lari.




tapi mana awak?






sorry.




klu sy ilang lg, bkn slh awk.

Sampai bila nak lari?

Salam.

I bet, semua orang pun ada bad memories kan. Dan from those bad memories tu, sedaya mungkin nak DELETE semua tu dari ingatan and nak DELETE orang yang terlibat tu dari LIFE. Dan for sure semua orang pun akan ada trauma2 yang tersendiri. Tiada? Tiiiiipulah. Okay. Okay. I believe. =)

If only life is just as simple as that. Macam bila tulis post kat blog. Tak suka, delete. Tak suka, sorokkan dari orang lain baca. If and only if.

I have those feelings. Masa lepas SPM dulu, I was forced to join ada program ni. Dari program tu, I made friends with loads of people. Dan dari ramai2 tu  I have these few people yang somehow throughout life, makes me feels traumatic with them. Cam seboleh mungkin nak laaaari jauh2 taknak jumpa diorang langsung sampai lah mati. Sebab tak suka. Takut. Fear. Semua2 yang negatif pun datang. (Macam bila jumpa maskot. Maskot tu tak buat apa pun tapi perasaan nak lari jauh jauh tu sangaaaat lah tinggi menggunung) I still have friends from that programme yang I still keep in touch. So, we gathered end of last last year. And somehow, those people yang I don't wanna meet tu came. (Those - more than 1) Luckily, I have my sister tagging along. Thanks sister. COme on lah. Sampai bila nak lari, kan? Sebab those person tu pun are making friends with my friends. So somehow akan jumpa mereka lagi. I just hoped that mereka dah berubah. Dah tak macam suka paksa2 orang. I really hated those people that forced me doing something against my priciple. Ok ok. kadang2 tu bertolak ansurlah juga, Tapi kadang2 mmg tak boleh. So, bila tak boleh tu and people keep forcing me, I will be like sgt2 marah tapi cuba lagi nak bermuka manis. Yup. Hipokrit. I hate when I'm being hypocrite. And the next time, memang jangan haraplah I nak ajak jumpa insan2 itu lagi. Sebab TRAUMA. Melainkan TERPAKSA. (Macamlah I ni perfect sangat kan?)

Dan semasa program tu, I was naughty friendly sikit. Cubalah bayangkan. Form 1-3, tak mix dgn boys sgt. And then form 4-5 masuk ALL girls boarding school. And jadi PRS. So, masa program tu macam, making friends; girlfriends, boyfriends and macam extrovert sikit. SIkit je. Hehe. Alaaaaa. Buat2 lah percaya. =P

So, masa gathering last2 year tu, those peeps yang datang pun macam mengungkit my story masa programme tu. Haih. Tu lah. Siapa suruh jadi gatal friendly sangat. Tapi that's the past. I dah moved one with my life. And happier with what I have currently, Families, families families and and and macam2 families lah.

It's just that, these past few days I found group made specially utk programme tu. So I joined it. In FB, I didn't use my nickname masa program tu. So they was like, which one am I, which one are you, can you describe yourself. Bila nak describe, takkan lah nak ungkit balik apa yang dh lepas masa program tu kan? Kisah tu kan patutnya dah tanam dah. (mesti u all pening kan). Takpe takpe. Diorang dah tengok gmbr dah. So diorang macam kenal lah. kot. Hehe. Cumanya... Those yang I'm running from tu tak add me as friend lagi. And I'm afraid they might add me. Betul2 afraid ni. (Menggeletar). And even my bestfriend from that program boleh nak ugut nak suggest me to those people. Sangat kejam. Apa punya kawanlah kan. Tapi tu lah. Dah kata kawan. Jadi kena SABAR BANYAK2 dengan dia. Haih.  

I don't know whether by joining that group is a good decision or not. I really hope it's a good one. Setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya, kannnnnnnn?

Adakah melarikan diri daripada mereka means that I'm being mean and not fair to them? Tapi mereka beri saya trauuuma.

Okay. Okay. Fikir positif. EVerything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

So, cahaya, sampai bila nak lariiiiii? Face it girl. FAce it.

Nak pergi belajar silat dari bapak+basri+akmal+iyah lah macam ni. =)

Friendship is about...

Salam.

Salam.

Yesterday she called.

Every one have their ups and down.

So do I.
So do you.
So does her.

=)



Friendship is about accepting ur friends the way they are.
Even how bad ur friends are, keep it to urself.
No good to spread the words.
Coz u urself are not perfect either.

Friendship is about reminding each each other.
There are times where we forget.
And that's when u, as a friend should remind.
Because u remembered.

Friendship is about trying hard to be there.
When ur friends cried out your name, you try hard to be there.
Eventhough you yourself are not doing good.
Sometimes it's not how happy u are that counts.
Instead, it's about how bright ur beloved one's day u can do.

Friendship is about listening instead of hearing.
Just to lend ur friends ur ear are more than enough.
Give them suggestions.
Instead of blames.

Friendship is about helping each other out.
Even when the sky is dark.
And the storm had come.
Guiding each other to the right road.
BEcause every cloud have a silver lining.

Friendship is about saying the right things u wanna hear.
Everything is going to be ok in the end.
If it's not ok, it's not the end.

Friendship is about love and care and everything that makes the world goes on spinning.
Coz u know ur always have a friend to turn to when ur lost.

I may not a good friend, but I tried to be one.


So dear friend, I wanna tell you this since I still remember.
Don't give up.
You have a looooong wayyyyy to go.
There's always a way.
Maybe, u just not in that way yet.
ALLAH always knows what's best for us.
HE always knows.
ALWAYS.




*I don't know what kind of poem I wrote up there. Macam merapu je. Hehe. =)*

Another Saturday.

Salam.

It's another Saturday.

For 3 weeks in a row, I felt down. On Saturday. At first, I felt happy in the morning. Especially after watching TMNT for 30 minutes. But not for long, I lost my mood already.

It was suppose that I have something else planned. But somehow, something-I-don't-know-what-turn-up. So, the plan had been cancelled. It's kind of frustrating at first. But somehow, after a nap and also oh-no-I-have-an-assignment-to-submit-and-a-presentation-next-tuesday came in mind. So, I need to get back in track.

And today, I got a wake up call while I'm having my go-away-bad-mood nap. And someone came. Thanks dear friend. At least you brighten up my few hours left for Saturday today. And I get a McD sundae. An an invitation card for another wedding. Hehe.

Setiap yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya. Like today, my plan is cancelled. But ALLAH send me a friend. Happy. =)

ALLAH knows better whats best for us. Kan?'


Dear friend, can you pay me a visit every Saturday. I don't wanna be alone on Saturdays. SOooooo empty and fake inside. I hate that feeling.

Pesan buat anak [part 2]

Salam.

My friend wrote the second part of it.

I thought that it only have one part.

Here goes...

pesan buat anak 2

anakku..

dikau sudah menginjak dewasa..

bertatih mengenal ilmu dunia..

mula belajar apa ertinya chenta..

merentas hidup penuh pancaroba..

anakku..

jangan takut tersalah pilihan..

kerana itu tarbiah dari Tuhan..

membuat kita tabah mengharungi kehidupan..

agar nanti beroleh pedoman..

anakku..

hidup ini indah..

bersulam dengan tawa dan gundah..

namun begitu hendaklah tabah..

pasti terselit 1001 hidayah..

anakku..

walau ku diam tanpa pesan..

saat kau rebah dalam pencarian..

hanya doa yang mampu kutitipkan..

agar terus tabah hadapi cabaran..

anakku..

nasehatku tanda sayang..

agar dikau terus matang..

mengharungi liku yang mendatang..

tetap tenang dalam gelombang..

The 2nd last verse makes me cry.

Pesan buat anak..

Salam.

I have this one friend that treats me like his daughter. Yelah dah belajar parenting, and apa tah subjek lagi kan... 

He wrote something for me.

pesan buat anak..

duhai anakku..
dengarlah pesanan daku..
sebagai suluh bekal hidupmu..
moga dirimu tenang selalu..

duhai anakku..
saat diriku memarahimu..
bukan tanda aku membencimu..
sekadar ingatan buat dirimu..
lambang kaseh ikhlas dariku..

duhai anakku..
saat dirimu merangkak sepi..
usah disangka kamu seorang diri..
diriku dari jauh memerhati..
membekal doa tulus abadi..

duhai anakku..
telah kunyatakan hidup itu indah..
dengan harapan dirimu takkan goyah..
saat ujian melintang arah..
moga dirimu cekal dan tetap gagah..

duhai anakku..
hanya doa mampu kukirimkan..
sebagai bekalan dan juga sandaran..
agar dirimu tidak lupakan..
pada TUHAN yang telah menciptakan..

duhai anakku..
akan tiba suatu hari..
saat diriku akan pergi..
moga dirimu selalu ingati..
kenangan kita moga abadi..

I cried. Read the 2nd and 3rd verse. =)


May you to happy always. Heart u. Heee.

Hilangkan diri.

Salam.

Beberapa ketika ni, as if I'm running away from my besties.

Dah lama cam tak share stories ngan mereka. 

Tanya2 khabar semua.

Kalau on YM pun sekejap je. 

Villa, Aina, Zahira, Yanti, Ella, Haf, Mimah, Teh.

Tapi itulah.

Lari-lari pun.

Saya tak boleh larikan diri dari 2 orang ini. Maybe until mereka dah kerja tetap dan married. Sebab time tu masing2 ada komitmen yg lebih tinggi. 

Villa.

Kenapalah instinct awak kuat sangat? 

Teh.

Sebab teh akan hilangkan diri terlebih dahulu. 

Bagilah saya peluang nak tunjukkan saya kuat. 

Saya nak minta maaf untuk semua salah silap saya. Pada semua orang yang baca ni, maafkan saya. Sengaja atau tak. 

P/S: nak nangis boleh tak?