sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.
It's 31st Oct today. Month end. Yes, I know. Somehow, so far this month it's better. There are some changes internally, and I'm seeing brighter future for my work load. Somehow, I need to stay positive, right? aha. ::p
Fahmi is already on his way home. I hope that he'll arrive safely. LCCT I guess. Happyyy =)
As at today, many things are not ready yet.
1. I need to go buy some stuffs to finalised the house for guests. Eg, hooks to gantung gantung baju. as budget constraint to but new almari - see how.
2. chocolates, cupcakes & fruits for hantaran. - last minute stuffs as takut cair~
3. Inai - belum beli. haha
4. cadar - pun belum beli
5. baju gadis- belum siap
6. guest book - belum siap
7. Our reception attires. Nampak sangat mendahulukan yang wajib so baju nikah awal awal dah settle.
8. And the list goes on and on and on
9. doorgift- pun belum siap
Counting the days and I'm getting more nervous
-Nur itu cahaya
Arrived home after 8. With this kkk still sick and behind neighbour mc. My to do list screwed up.
No lunch today. Kena pergi settle pelamin. Minum horlicks je. And bread at 5. Now i'm starving. Plan to go home after done keying in POs but tak sempat. Kena balik at 6 ambil iyah kesian ibu migrain again. And I'm too tired to stay longer.
People bising due to the pelamin. Mahalla etc. But when asked to teman nobody want to teman kata busy. And takkan tak tau kakla memang fail tawar menawar?
Cepat cepat gi toilet bila sampai rumah sebab dah jam 7 nak solat maghrib. Turun bawah dah start solat and no place for me to squeeze in. So rugi 26 pahala. Now? Blackout. Nice kan.
Have a nice day~
2 years ago, I get myself depressed. But I never went to a real diagnose by a doctor. Concern is, a doctor friend told me once, "Once you're diagnosed with a psychiatric sickness, it will stay with you forever". So I don't get myself diagnose as it may cause me difficulty in applying some other jobs. During that time, I wasn't happy working here. Well, I don't feel happy right now either. But due to the upcoming event, what other choices do I have? I the current job is located not far from home.
One way. do your solat, read Al-Quran. It does help. Blogging, is my other way. I need to tell some one. At least, when blogging, I get to let things out. I don't care if there's nobody reading this blog; which is better, but for me, it eases my burden, what I kept inside. Cause in some other way, there's nobody who listens. Anymore.
People won't want to know what's happening to you unless they seek for it. And rather than the answer being so disappointing as people expect some other answers instead, might as well, smile and tell, 'everything is fine and under control'. But the fact is, NOTHING is FINE.
So I kept my blog. And write craps here as a way to heal myself.
It's hard to be ourself. Sometimes, we just wanna scream telling people we need help and support but in the end we're blamed for the sound we make.
But they say, do tell us if you need help.
So, never be ourself. People won't like it.
People only liked the you that is happy, never had problems, smiling 24/7, never grumbled, never cried, never get stressed of all the messy stuff around.
No, don't be ourself. be the us that people likes.
I always say this to myself, not to put anything into my FB account.
But I keep breaking my own promise.
So here goes, only for the upcoming event and PM.
Others, you won't see me anymore.
Because people HATES me when I'm being real.
Let's be fake, shall we?
Have a nice day
Today, ngam ngam another month to go.
This Zuhur today, I had a chat with a colleague in the surau. You know, masa nak siap siap then you can have a short chat? She was telling me about one of her friends going to have some kind of bachelorette partayyy the night of my reception. What happened was, there's a quote, "things happened when you least expects it."
And it goes to where I was last 2 years. That time , I was so depressed. But lucky me, to have some closest friends supporting me. Just to see me happy. Epa masa tu baru masuk UKM. Now dah anak satu. Kejap je kan? Dia antara org yg paling rajin melayanku. Bawak wani tengok wayang. Tengok belon. Epa n suami. Mandi sungai. And masa tu lah a guy, yang I never talked to during matriks said hi. Now, lagi sebulan je to our wedding. With Afiq yang melayan je my crazy texts. And Mr Sanchez that never get bored to ask how I'm doing. I'm a big girl already. :)
Well, things happened when we least expect it. I was hoping for a higher increment next year. But Allah gave me a permanent position instead. Alhamdulillah. At least next year can put suami under Insurance coverage. But things do come with a price. I'm looking forward to perform better at work. InsyaALLAH.
Just go with the flow. Make new friends. Go find old friends. Who knows, heaven awaits you?