Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dgn jalan sabar dan mengerjakan
sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.

Al-Baqarah 2:45


Patience, a Marriage lesson

Been quite some time. Lama tak update.  Lama tak blog.  Setiap kali drive,  ada je idea or ayat nak taip.  Tapi end up,  balik rumah tengok tv,  solat,  bersihkan diri,  tido.  Yeah.  So idea tinggal idea je.  Tak tau siapa still akan visit my blog nih.  And xtau era sekarang,  orang still baca blog ke?  I Missed those days.  Masa orang rajin update blog,  nak share experience semua.  Best.  Tapi dah kurang masa.  Kalau dapat login via website lagi best.  Trrrrr keluar list blog kawan yang update semua kan.  Yes.

Almost 1 year dah.  Excited.  Tapi tak tahu nak buat surprise apa.  Surprise masak sedap menu baru kot.  Mesti abg dah jemu asyik menu sama haha.  Actually kan,  nama abg bukan Fahmi.  Fahmi is nama panggilan dalam keluarga.  This is some kind of personal to me so,  I put his name in his fam when I write in this blog.  Kalau cakap dengan Epa,  automatically akan refer abg as Fahmi.  Maybe sebab dah Epa dah tau pasal abg lama kan.   

Now.  Serious sikit.
Sepanjang hampir setahun ini(tahun Masihi),  ALLAH s.w.t. keeps reminding me of patience through abg.  Trust me,  dari sebelum kahwin,  sampailah now dah kahwin.  Patience is one of the most important value one should have in marriage.  True.  ALLAH taught me lots by sending him around.  We've been thicks and thins before marriage,  and we went through.  Lepas kahwin pun sama.  Cuma what scares me most,  is if I blew things up and he loses his temper. Manusia kan,  sabar pun ada batasnya kan.  Sebelum kahwin,  I was so patience with him.  Lepas kahwin terbalik.  Gaduh takyah cakaplah.  Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit ini pula rumah tangga.  But what's important is how we cool things down. I cried.  So cool habis semua sebab api kena simbah air mata yang keguguran.  Dah pandak berdrama.  Ada masa,  akan buka Al-Quran,  baca surah Ar Rahman. Sebab surah ini ingatkan diri how I should be grateful with everything.  Reciting Quran always works.  Bila bergaduh,  macamana pun kena face the issue together.  Deal with facts and not emotions.  Sebab once we talk things emotionally,  it will only makes things worst.  Bila sudah berkahwin,  kena lebih matang.  Professional.  Jika di ofis,  boleh menjadi matang,  kenapa tidak di rumah?

Keep praying and stay calm. 


Kakla kuat

Tak tahu macamana nk kluar dari depression. 
It's on and off. 
Rasa macam I should let things go.  Especially when I couldn't make other people happy. Work,  everything.  Masuk hutan je. 

Macam,  susah simpan sorang2. Senang kita kongsilah.  Kakla kan kuat.
Isnin wajib jumpa doc.  No more delays. 

Best regards and have a nice day!

Nor Alwani

Sent from my Sony Xperia™ smartphone


Sinar September.

Assalamualaikum. ☺

3 September.  Maknanya,  di pejabat,  sudah bermulanya perubahan skop kerja. 
Harapnya,  ada sinar baru,  dapat larikan diri terus.  Mulakan baru.  Semua. 

Tapi,  kerja backlog banyak lagi.  Campur lagi kerja baru ini.  Tak sempat siap.  Bawak balik laptop semalam tapi data siang dh habis quota.  Kena bangun jam 2 atau 3 pagi baru boleh buat.  Tidur pun dah jam 12 lebih.  Tengok movie punya pasal.  Macamanala nak bangun jam 2 kan.  Alih2 bangun 630 pagi juga.  Serius.  Stress.  Takpe.  Skincare routine baru nak sampai.  Harapnya,  sinar baru pada wajah.  Penat try macam macam.  Jadinya,  kena usaha lebih.  Fokus pada 3. Kerja,  ibadah,  kesihatan. 

Bila time kerja,  kerja.  Balik rumah buat pahala banyak banyak.  Abang tu macam apa ya istilahnya.  Selautan pahala?  Macam kurang sesuai tapi,  faham jelah.  Kesihatan- berat dan kulit.  Kulit x cantik kalau makanan tak cantik.  Makanan tak cantik menghasilkan berat tak cantik.  Berat tak cantik memberikan tekanan.  Tekanan menjadikan tubuh kurang sesuai untuk hamil mengikut kajian.  Nampak tak how everything is sooo related.  Kerja tak siap menambahkan tekanan juga.  Nampak tak how I keep telling myself the same thing in this blog?

13 September nak turun BP.  Make upkan Ella n Iqa kahwin.  Nervous.  Haha.  Semoga segalanya berjalan lancar.  Asal ada peluang,  macam macam kaler kaler kat mata nak tengok sesuai ke tak.

Thanks and have a nice day!

Nor Alwani Binti Amran

Sent from my Sony Xperia™ smartphone


We plan, Allah also plans. But Allah s.w.t. plans are the best.


It will be 4 days left to Ramadhan. How's preparation? I'm good. InsyaALLAH. It will be my first year fasting in Ramadhan as a wife. But abam will be quite busy with work somehow. Not sure how frequent we'll meet up & have our food together. 

Trust me, this same month, year 2010, I never expect that he'll be my captain to guide our journey to Heaven. Alhamdulillah, Allah knows best. The breakup that time was the best thing that could happen. I'm glad that Allah gave me the strength to move on, to learn to love once again.

Us, might not be perfect enough. Putting all those flaws away, things falls into place. Happily, or not, we have to accept. We quarrel a lot. I get frustrated. Girls will always thought their father is the best guy in the whole wide world. I searched for a guy that have lots of similarities with my father. The only thing I manage to get is a 4th child, and an engineer graduate. And that's it. Comparing will only makes me upset. I learned to understand and accept him the way he is. And still, I'm learning. 7 month living as husband and wife is not enough. There's always more to learn and more to give. 

Happy thoughts last Saturday, I made him a surprise. :)

Thinking of a surprise next TUesday but not sure yet how. Or maybe, not a surprise at all. hehe. 

I bet, I sometimes frustrates him as well. I know, a guy will always thought their mother is the best person in the whole wide world. Definitely, I won't be able to replace her late mother's care and love. Just what's from me, a wife is what I can give.  

I was reluctant to update much in this blog thinking that my ex might read my posts. But my thoughts was, for me leave something that people can learn. At least, not repeating my mistakes and learn it the hard way. 

Yes, 7th month, and I don't see myself pregnant yet. I would love to. And I know ALLAH s.w.t. have better plans for us. Till the time comes, seeking & sharing our tears, joy and laughter will be the best way to be stress-free. 

To find a guy that loves you is easy. But to find a guy that accepts your flaws, that holds on during the thunderstorms is a once in a blue moon. Grab it and never let go.

Salam Ramadhan.     

May you have a great day~

Thank you. 

Yours sincerely,


Be positive, patient & persistent.


Dear all,
I have so much to babble when I'm going to sleep, in the toilet, driving home alone, yet little time to write here. My plan was, a  quote for every post. For me to get myself positive. Or a nice picture to share that I found online.

Ramadhan is just around the corner & I'm counting days. It's normal for newly weds to count for Ramadhan or AidilFitri right? Aha. I'm looking forward for Aidilfitri so that we gets reunited.(This sentence sounds strange) Yeahhh!

I still boycott kuih Raya though. :D

Everytime I'm racing myself home after work, it kept me thinking. "Nak balik rumah ke balik Semenyih? Ke nak balik rumah ibu? Dua dua ada syurga. Tapi penat ulang-alik. Sigh." So I just told myself, Kakla, you're a strong girl. Kakla is the strong one. And I drove myself home. And the rutine goes on and on and on~

Be patient.

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal. “The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.” :D



Apakah manusia itu mengira bahwa mereka dibiarkan (saja) mengatakan:”Kami telah beriman”, sedang mereka tidak diuji lagi?


The grass always looks greener on the other side of the road.

I have to stay strong.

Dalam keadaan badan macam ini, sentiasa rasa mati itu dekat. Dah malas nak jumpa doktor. Malas nak makan ubat.

Ampunkan dosa dosa saya.



“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land


Last 9th of May, our marriage reaches happy 6 months. Alhamdulillah. Yet, still a long way for us to go.

Funny when I'm waiting to pickup Aisyah from extra class (yes I still do the chaffeuring Aisyah chores sometimes), Abang called. The conversation as follows:

Abang :  B, Nape semua orang cakap B ngandung ni? B ngandung ke? Abang tak tau pun?
*dengan nada risau dan serius
Me : Abang,  B pun tak tau B ngandung? Macamana orang lain boleh tau B ngandung ni? Siapa diorang tu?
Abang mentioned his aunts and the scenario why it came out.
Me : Abang cakap je lah InsyaALLAH. Mana tau makbul kan :)
Reason is, I put a picture of us reciting du'a in Instagram. Whereelse I put the pic because we're doing the same action & it's our solemnization picture. They thought that it's like ALhamdulillah, after 6 months of waiting kinda thing. You know. Somehow, thinking of it, it's funny. Makes us feel like a celebrity for a while. hehe.

I dunno what to answer when people asked me this question. I know, I have to answer the question calmly. So I answered, InsyaALLAH instead. As it's like du'a But, there was once, by answering 'InsyaALLAH'
people really thought I am pregnant and it is wrong to spread wrong news. Then, how...? maybe you can suggest me how to answer nicely.

We do went out to have dinner date - I really need to find some new spot.

Have you tried riding a boat? That's how marriage is. Sometimes bumpy, sometimes the flow is just nice & you get to enjoy the view.

 Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal. “The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.” :D


When there's a will, there's always a way


Today is the day!
My result for LCCI is already out. I'm not sure of when I can go and pick up the results. It is soooooooooooooooo scary. I'm scared that I don't pass. Though I do hope that I passed & at least my hardwork pays. 

Also, today, SPM result is out. Hoping hard my student/BIL pass SPM with flying colours. Especially those subjects I tutored him. 


May you have a great day~

Thank you. 

Yours sincerely,


"When there's a will, there's always a way."


Just to share this.

Stress. Ok bai.


Untuk mengekal dan meningkatkan kesuburan, wanita perlu:-

* Mengawal berat badan. Jika dapat, kekalkan berat badan yang seimbang. Berat badan berlebihan boleh menyebabkan masalah ovulasi (pengeluaran telur) dan kitaran haid mungkin terganggu atau terhenti terus jika terlalu kurus.

* Kurangkan pengambilan kafein. Ada kajian menunjukkan pengambilan kafein melebihi 500 miligram sehari boleh melewatkan kehamilan. Biasanya secawan kopi mengandungi antara 80 hingga 175 miligram kafein. Bagaimanapun, ia bergantung kepada kaedah penyediaan dan jenis kopi diambil. Bertukarlah kepada kopi tanpa kafein.

* Kurangkan pengambilan alkohol, atau lebih baik berhenti terus. Alkohol berlebihan akan menjejaskan peluang wanita untuk hamil kerana ia merencatkan proses ovulasi.


* Bersenam secara tetap dan teratur. Senaman bukan saja dapat membantu mengekalkan berat badan, tetapi turut menjadikan anda lebih sihat dan cergas. Ia juga akan menguatkan badan untuk melalui kehamilan tanpa masalah. Senaman juga boleh mengurangkan risiko mengalami masalah sembelit dan vena varikos (urat kaki menjadi kembang dan berbelit) yang biasa dihadapi wanita mengandung.

* Jalani pemeriksaan hormon melalui ujian darah. Ini adalah masalah biasa yang menyebabkan wanita sukar mengandung.

* Berhati-hati mengambil ubat. Kebanyakan ubat, termasuk pil tahan sakit, antibiotik, ubat tekanan darah tinggi dan anti kemurungan memberi kesan terhadap kesuburan anda. Sebaik-baiknya, ambil ubat apabila diarahkan saja.

* Buat pemeriksaan rahim. Masalah dalam rahim seperti endometriosis, fibroid atau sista ovari boleh menjejaskan peluang untuk mengandung. Endometriosis (lapisan tisu yang tumbuh di luar rahim) akan menyebabkan haid menjadi lebih banyak dan sakit. Kehadirannya juga meningkatkan risiko mengandung luar rahim.

* Selain itu, kitaran haid tidak tetap dan lama (melebihi seminggu), kerap mengalami senggugut, pernah keguguran melebihi dua kali, mempunyai bulu roma yang banyak dan lebat terutama pada muka, berlebihan berat badan, mempunyai masalah kesihatan (diabetes, lupus atau tekanan darah tinggi) juga boleh mengurangkan peluang untuk mengandung.


“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.”


"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have."

Above is one of my favourite quotes. It really makes my day brighter whenever it started to be gloomy. I love reading quotes when I was young, & I still do. Been quite a while I didn't login to my Tumblr account. There, infinite of quotes shared all over the world. Just need to find a nice Tumblr to follow. 

Yesterday, I started my day badly. I am not happy to go to work. Emotionally unstabled. Driving from Semenyih to office near Subang Airport, I cried myself out. I am stressed. Arrived office, googled this quote & found some blog writing about the quote. I'll try to share one quote for each of my post post in future. As a reminder, to lighten up our day. 

I don't have a big & expensive car. I don't have a house yet. We currently rent some place with Mommy. I don't have an expensive phone. Honestly saying, I do feel jealous. Told abang, I want to buy new phone. & he was enquiring me, 10 reasons of why I have to buy a new phone. And if so I have 10 reasons, I have to buy a phone that is tahan lasak. So I hold on to what I have as it is lasak enough. hoho. I don't have expensive handbags. Oh keduniaan.

I told myself, I should be happy. I am a married lady. A guy wants to marry me. A guy accepts my flaws no matter how cranky and crazy I can be. A guy that's... well, my staircase to Heaven. Nama pun meaning heaven. So why am I not to be happy? Why are we not to be happy?

So I continue shutting myself from others that are too eager to show what they have/do daily. Haha. 

I share what I have here instead cause I believe, people don't blog anymore. hehe. 

Lunch hour yesterday, Login to FB and saw these peoples commenting to a picture since year 2010. Oh, they really made my day. And now you still wanna ask why I am so attached with PAKMNS?

May you have a great day~

Thank you. Take care.


P/S : This morning when I was preparing breakfast for abang, he said,"Lawa B arini." I smiled, "Thank you. Alhamdulillah." And yes, I am sooo flying. hehe. 




It's 10 Mar. And our 4th months marriage. We're still trying to adapt to the changes. HARD.

Last year, before getting married, I always thought that having a long distance marriage isn't that difficult. I was wrong. It is difficult. Difficult but it's nothing impossible. Doing it the right way. things will workout.

Lucky enough that abang is working in the same state as me. Our journey apart is only 1 hour. But travelling/driving is a tiring activity. I enjoyed driving. I do. But when it comes to traffic jam, or rude people on road, it annoys me. Normally, when I have to drive to his place, I'll end up arriving with his comments,"cepatnya!" Well, you may conclude yourself. aha.

I still consider myself lucky; I have my parents living nearby. Sometimes I can sleep over their house or any of my siblings will come over for the night out. Abang will also try his best to come over after work. Though his working hours is unexpected.

No words can express how much I love him, how waking up every morning with him sleeping beside me is one of my favorite moments.

Marriage needs us to spare our time, money, effort, & energy for our spouse & family. Once decided to move on to another phase in life, do get ourselves ready; physically & mentally. We really need it.

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal. “The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.” :D



ATC again.


Yesterday evening after work, I decided to hang out at Daddy's house. Went there straight after work. It amazes me when I drive passed Mommy's car with Daddy driving, & mummy sitting at the side. Daddy stopped. Confused, I just drive to the house. Right after I parked, daddy called. "Ibu kena ATC. Nak gi Spital. "It happened again. So I waited at Daddy's house until they're back. Until abang arrived. 

The Doctor was suggesting to proceed for ablution. As for now, the attack is unexpected. 
As I'm growing older, my parents are growing older too. 

And every time it happened, it brings me tears. 


Yours sincerely,




I learned that if we see what we don't have we won't be happy & started to focus on other people's weaknesses & envies others & started to form hatred inside the heart. Bad, aite?

I keep telling myself to reduce social network; fb, twitter, instagram & focus to life. If not, I will tend to be envy with what other people can do, & I can't, with what other people gets & I don't, with what other people have & I don't. It's harder to be happy for others if I'm living this way. I started to stop surveying Groupon as it makes me SEE what I don't have & I tends to shop more. In the end, money left lesser than I planned early of the month.

We know nowadays if we don't have a facebook it's awkward & not 'in'. I know one girl that doesn't have facebook until now & she's 24 this year. I think. And she survived!

People tends to put what we have, what we do, in public & hoping that people would love it & have comments for it. My blog is also public. Somewhere I speak my heart out. haha.

I don't wanna do things for others. Let me do things quietly. "A happy relationship is when there's no post about it". Read those quotes from a friend's fb. Well, these kind of posts is something GOOD.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with the Dr. To follow up for the PCOS thingy. As I'm married, the treatment will vary. Worried for the cost as Insurance won't cover anymore. & yes, I didn't lose weight yet. Oh man.

 Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal.

 The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.”  :D





Ya Allah, kakla rasa sedih sangat.

Sangat sangat. Tapi taktau nak share dengan sape. I couldn't share pun.

Kalau tingkap kat bilik ni takde palang, dah lama terjun keluar.

Ambil handbag, beg laptop, kunci kereta, terjun keluar tingkap. Cepqt cepat masuk balak. Drift pergi tempat yang entah mana mana.

Life's not fair. Bila kita nak orang berubah, or tepati janji, kita sendiri kena prove yang berubah and janji tu boleh dilakukan. What do you expect? Nak jadi macam ketam yang ajar anak berjalan? Tapi bila kita belum berubah into the person yang kita janjikan and orang yang kita harap berubah sebab dia dah janji tu tak berubah, boleh ke kita pertikaikan?

I just realized how people nowadays treasures friendship so much instead of tied bonds. Thank you for reminding me.

Have a nice day~




I am not happy at work.


Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi.

Usaha doa tawakal.


You know what’s beautiful?

Your eyes blinking, your pupils dilating when you’re euphoric, the curve of your smile, the shade of your teeth, the arch of your back, the fingers typing, the breathing thing you do, the thoughts. Your thoughts. How you think is beautiful; how a thought comes to mind is…a miracle, how you operate, how you are; just you. In every sense of the word; all your blood cells, neurons, organs, your limbs, your soul. You are breathtaking, mashaa’Allaah.


You can’t control the things that happen to you but you can control the way you react to them. It’s all perception.
You Again (Movie)