Beauty Tip of the Day

Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dgn jalan sabar dan mengerjakan
sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.

Al-Baqarah 2:45

2012-04-25

Bye.

I don't wanna get myself involved in alumni SESERI anymore.
Org lain nak buat, baik bagi org lain buat, kan? Lagipun, I ni kerani je. Belajar Maths je. Mana ada belajar tere tere medic lah, farmasi lah. Kerja pun, bukan kerja business exec apa apa tah. SPM pun bukan straight A's. Masuk matriks je. Tak de masuk U tere tere cam orang lain. Buat Masters pun separuh jalan. Kalau cakap pun, orang tak dengar. Tak pandai bagi talk. Orang xsemangat bila dgr kita cakap kan.
Bye.

Rindu nak berprogram.

Might as well I work hard to study my chemistry instead. Tu lagi penting. Kena dapatkan A+.

Takpun, buat biskut je kan. Ok biskut coklat dah habis. Nak lagi.

2012-04-24

I will try.

Salam.

Mummy, do you know how much I actually love you? It's kept inside. Malu nak tunjuk. Sebab kakla is kakla. Bukan iyah.

Last weekend, I really hoped that you are happy. I don't do much. But I really hoped so. Sampai ibu ada very enormous butterfly in the stomach kan? Mulut kakla bebel bebel kan? Ish. Camnela nak kasi mulut ni tak bebel, tak muncung ikat reben, mata tak jeling. Konon konon nak biar ibu gi sorang, biar ibu naik Komuter. Ibu tahu kan kakla sakat je? Hehe. Last last buat jugak. Sebab tak sampai hati. *nanti orang ngorat ibu. Haha* Risau tu sedikit sebanyak ada. Tak banyak, sikit. Tak sikit, banyak. Kurang pahala dah kan, sebab bebel bebel tu. Harap ibu tak ambil hati. Tapi, satu yang tak berubah, tetap sama, I still hate KL. Masih scary. Masih perlukan bodyguard. Way no nak kakla jalan sorang sorang kat jalan situ.

Penat. Tapi happy sebab tengok ibu happy. Cuma kakla belum mampu nak buat macam ibu buat. Cakap cakap kat orang, cerita cerita. Mungkin, bila terpaksa, kena buat juga kan. Fahmi marah. Dia kata, 'tolonglah ibu tu. Kesian ibu. Marketing tu ilmu. Sedih bila you kata you tak suka.' Mestilah dia marah. Sebab itu benda yang hampir sama yang dia buat. Bila fikir fikir balik, teringat kak ani cakap, 'ibu tu baik sangat. Kakla bertuah tau' sebab kak ani tak baik dengan ibu dia. Fahmi pula, 'jaga ibu leklok. Hargai ibu tu' sebab fahmi dah tiada ibu. *tiba tiba sebak. Ish.*

Kakla tak suka. Tapi kakla cuba untuk suka. Kakla suka tolong susun, tolong organize barang, details. Tapi bab cakap, promote promote niiiiii, lemah betul. Mungkin, kalau mood ada, harap harap for next time, mood untuk bercakap cakap tu adalah kan. Macam masa 2 3 tahun lepas. Cuma, jangan suruh kakla suka KL, okay? Love you mummy ! ;D

p/s : byk betul 'tapi' kan?

2012-04-19

Rasa benci.

Salam.
I dunno why. But lately, the hatred feeling is within me. Rasa benci, menyampah, those bad feelings. Those negative ones. Hates this.
Rasa marah. Tapi bila marah, macam kita marahkan Allah, rasa tak redha. Macam, kenapa orang tu happy tapi dia buat jahat kat orang yang kita sayang, yang kita rapat?

Suddenly macam, it's all coming back.

Saya mula mengungkit, persoalkan.

Dulu, masa sesak sangat, takde alternatif, minta tolong bawa ke tempat nak sign agreement. Tapi you taknak tolong. Alasan, jam. Last last I end up pergi naik teksi, balik ofis, ibu hantarkan. Good thing? You takde so I tak payah dengar you merungut-rungut.

Then, bila dapat balak tu, lama baru I get the license to drive myself. Masa first day bawa, you dah sibuk tanya, boleh tumpang tak, buat cerita sedih sebab taknak tunggu sampai your sister balik at 7. I kesian, then bagi you tumpang. Lalu Sunway, good for me lah kan. First day drive, dah kena bawak gi SUnway, I dah nak langgar pakcik bawak anak atas motor tu. And you, buat I lagi panik. Good thing? I learned to use the left side mirror and more alert on motorcyclist.

Esok pagi, you tumpang gi kerja, tiba tiba buat I terkejut cakap kena U-Turn, then I salah press minyak instead of brek, langgar curb U-Turn tu. Then my bumper scratch, clip tercabut. Padahal bumper tu baru cat baru. T_T  Just because nak beli you breakfast. Tapi pergi juga beli sebab kesian you lapar and, dah pergi half way sampai balak I calar, pastu tak jadi nak beli dah? Good thing? I dah ada alternatif lain for breakfast and lunch instead of buying Petronas food sebab malas nak keluar time lunch.

Then bila naik balak, you kutuk2 Malaysian car. Apa you tak sedar balak yang you naik tu Malaysian car? "I hate Malaysian car." Thank you sebab sudi nak naik my Malaysian car tu for few weeks. Good thing? I felt annoyed with you and I stopped helping to send you home since then. Haha. Jahat jugak aku ni.

Lunch time, kalau kakak takde, kakak taknak keluar, kakak tak datang, baru you cari I kan. Now dah ada kakak lain, memang harapan lah you nak tegur I. Haha lagi.

Macam dendam je kan? Haha Lagi dan lagi. okay dah macam tak betul.

Bila fikir balik, ada good things in everything that happened. Just, kadang rasa tak sabar juga nak say goodbye. hehe. "Kak Maz was saying, baru sedikit dah nak mengalah?" There are times that I don't give up easily. But when I'm not sincere, I might give up.

Bila mula persoalkan apa yang dah ditentukan, ada unsur derhaka dalam diri. Tolonglah, go away this feeling.

You know what’s beautiful?

Your eyes blinking, your pupils dilating when you’re euphoric, the curve of your smile, the shade of your teeth, the arch of your back, the fingers typing, the breathing thing you do, the thoughts. Your thoughts. How you think is beautiful; how a thought comes to mind is…a miracle, how you operate, how you are; just you. In every sense of the word; all your blood cells, neurons, organs, your limbs, your soul. You are breathtaking, mashaa’Allaah.


:D

You can’t control the things that happen to you but you can control the way you react to them. It’s all perception.
You Again (Movie)

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