Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dgn jalan sabar dan mengerjakan
sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.

Al-Baqarah 2:45


Selamat pulang ke MEDAN untuk perjuangan!

Last few weeks, he told me that he's coming back to Malaysia to settle up his visa. I was soooo thrilled waiting for the date, for his comeback. Since he's telling me that he'll be somewhere around KL during that period. And it means that, maybe, maybe we can hang out. Me, him, kakak, or anybody that's available.

However, as the time comes, I feel like I couldn't make it. I was tied up with commitments and promises with my family members. And Wak. I need to chaffeur mummy. And bring my sisters to redeem the groupon voucher which I bought for us last month at a mall nearby.

Thus, I told him that, I couldn't make it. Somehow, he tried as hard as he can just for a short meet up. And me phone is kinda sick. So I'm not noted one messages that comes in. He meets kakak somewhere in KL, with one of his friends. It shatters me knowing that he's getting smaller. I mean, I was complaining about sooo much irrelevant stuffs, where else someone else was struggling in doing jihad. Where there's a will, there's always a way.

Knowing that he's doing fine is more than enough. I know he'll do good. He's a man. Take care. Eat moreeeeeeeeee you-becoming little-smaller-brother!


Favourite blogshop.


This blog has always been my fav blogshop. Reason?


1. The price is always cheaper than others. Even if other sellers have the same design of clothesline.
2. Nice jubah(s) and maxi(s).

It's just that... Currently I cannot buy clothes anymore. Because my closet are so packed up. The clothes have sentimental values. Club t-shirts. Mummy's work. And... I'm stuck between 'want' and 'need'.

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal.


Mereka mengira hari. Saya tumpang gembira.


Tak lama lagi, giliran kakak pula hendak menempuh alam baru. Alam berumahtangga, menjadi isteri, pembantu kapten di bahtera, ibu, guru, nenek, dan banyak lagi. Semoga kakak bahagia hingga syurga. Semoga, kakak jadi isteri, penyejuk mata suami, dan ibu yang solehah.

Kakak lain pula, sedang mengandung. Baru bulan pertama. Kata kakak, dia berdebar. "cuba wani bayangkan wani mengandung?" "wani tak le bayangkan lagi. Sebab wani jadi isteri pun belum. So wani kena bayang jadi isteri dulu". Saya pula yang rasa nervous. Lagi lagi baru tamat baca "Aku Terima Nikahnya". Maka, terasa jugalah dugaan menjadi seorang isteri dan ibu. Sebab, bila dah ke alam perkahwinan, haruslah bersedia untuk menjadi ibu dan bapa. Besar amanah itu. Pasti akan disoal di akhirat nanti mengenai tanggungjawab mendidik anak ilmu agama.

Siang tadi, sempat ke kedai buku. Kelabu mata jadinya. Sebab banyak sangat pilihan buku mengenai perkahwinan dan amalan semasa mengandung. Orang lain yang nak berkahwin, melahirkan anak, saya pula yang rasa teruja hendak membeli buku sebegitu. Nasi baiklah dalam purse ada kurang dari rm 10. Hehe.


Ikhlas di hati.


Pada hari itu, saya menemani ibu ke salah satu perjumpaannya dengan teman teman. Minat mereka sama. Menjahit. Bezanya dulu dengan sekarang, jika disebut menjahit, tidak hanya tertumpu kepada baju dan langsir tetapi juga termasuk hasil tangan yang lain. Ribbon embroidery, tatting, manik, dll.

Mereka baya baya saya sahaja. Takkan nak panggil mereka aunty walaupun mereka memanggil ibu, 'kak'? Ada kakak ini bawa anaknya. Baru beberapa bulan. Comel. Di akhir majlis, ada kakak lain tolong menjaga bayi itu. Lantas, diagahnya ibu. Bayi fokus pada ibu.

Saya : kenapa dia pandang ibu je? *berbau dengki*
Ibu : baby memang suka kat ibu.
Kakak : orang ikhlas, kat muka pun boleh nampak. Sebab itu baby suka.
Ibu : *senyum*.

Mungkin, memang betul. Kadang kadang, bila orang betul betul ikhlas, kita boleh rasa keikhlasannya.
"ikhlas itu pada hati. Bukan pada bibir" -cerekarama al-ikhlas.

Dan betul, kalau ibu mengajar orang, ibu akan ajar betul betul. Dari awal, sampai orang betul betul pandai. Langkah demi langkah. Cuma kadang, orang tak belajar sampai habis. Sebab bila separuh jalan, dah boleh cuba sendiri. Cumanya, hasilnya mungkin tak seperti ibu buat. Takpelah kan. Lama lama nanti pandai lah kot kan.

Saya : dia belajar tak habis tapi dah beriya buat business dah. Ibu tak rasa rugi ke?
Ibu : takpelah. Rezeki dia.

*sayang ibu !*
Bila nak buat sesuatu, ikhlaskan hati. Mungkin tak mudah, tapi tak mustahil. Buat betul betul. Tak rugi apa pun.



No matter how good you are, never look down on others. Cause, one day, you might fall and they're the only one that's there to lend a hand

Saya rindu dia.

Semoga, di mana jua dia berada, dia tetap kuat menghadapi dugaanmu, ya Allah. Peliharalah dia, ya Allah. Semoga, kita dapat bertemu lagi. Jika bukan di dunia, di syurga nanti. InsyaAllah. Biar sakit di dunia, namun kebahagiaan menanti di akhirat.

I missed her.


Never 'thought'.


A reminder. Never 'thought'. I 'thought' it was cancelled. I 'thought' nobody agreed. I 'thought' it's cheaper. Well, we'll never know until we ask. We'll never know until we clarify. If one really wants something or, one wants to know about something badly, then one will work hard for it. Right? ;D

Bert have a pink case. Yay. It mathes the theme. Black and pink. I'm bored with grey already. Hihi.


My fear. Stress.


When people asked me on how do I manage stress, honestly saying, I don't. I'm bad at it. Lately, I get worried easily. I know, over-think about something unmanageable is bad. I mean, if I think to much, but I end up cannot do anything about it, why should I waste my time thinking, or worrying? Yet, I cannot get stressed out. Cause I'll end up making my body to be sick, unintentionally. I mean, it just happens, even though I eat well. 

One thing worries me. Afiq told me that, depression is serious. At first, it's just depression, and then, the patient will starts to have hallucination, schizophrenia, and last, end up in a psy ward. Worst comes to worst, suicide. But in Islam, if one suicides, the suicide will keep repeating in hell. *correct me if I'm wrong* And a psy report is a lifetime. I mean, it can effect one's career, life. It's just that, sometimes, I think that I'm still depressed. But I cannot be depressed. If not, I'll be sick. I'm stressed because cannot be stress. 

And I know, the best way is to get myself nearer to Allah s.w.t. 

What I used to do, is to write, or share my fears. But if by sharing my fears makes people misunderstood me, saying I'm acting like an angel, where else I know I'm not, I guess, I should never open myself up again, don't I?

Yours sincerely,
Nor Alwani Binti Amran.
 "The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have."  



Yesterday, was a blast. Tiring. But I'm glad that I managed to spend a bit of my day with people(s) I love.

And today, I don't feel like talking to anyone in office. Or, I just don't wanna listen anymore. 

I dunno. Sometime, I take it as, others are just sharing their thoughts. In return, when I listen, I can learn. Now, I just hate it when some people can't stop complaining. And yes, I am complaining here. It's like, you don't know how lucky you are, how people wanted to be in yours shoes, instead, you're not grateful with what you have. If you're not grateful with what you have now, how on earth you will react when Allah gives you more?

I hate it when with some people, I spill out what I'm not suppose to. Eg : Yesterday evening.

 "The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have."  


Tata pakmns. Hello SESERIans.

Salam. 2006, I made an application to become a facilitator for n9 orientation week. I get to know seniors from different batch. I used the advantage of being in the same LDK with a JPP during my matriks life to spare me a place as a facilitator in orientation week years after that. I get myself involved in the pakmns. Although some people might not want me to be around, but because of the reason that, 'I'm always available' I get to join in. Haha. Until last 2 years, it's the end of my life as a facilitator in matriks. Thus, the end of my involvement in pakmns last year. Especially when last year, there's a new election for MT of pakmns 2011/2013. Now, I'm trying to help the secretary to recall back all the reports that are MIA. Plus, a helping hand for the Registration Biro. Taught them how I did those, so tata girls~ ;D It took me more than 6 months just to key in around 100 forms. i wonder how soon they can finish up 700+ forms. Tomorrow, I guess. Because they are more hardworking than me. Hihi. And, tata pakmns. Hello, SESERIans. A safer organization. Since, no guys are going to be involved here. Hehe. I have load of plans in my mind. Let's start by... Registering the alumni, shall we? And a nice name for alumni? Hehe. ;D

You know what’s beautiful?

Your eyes blinking, your pupils dilating when you’re euphoric, the curve of your smile, the shade of your teeth, the arch of your back, the fingers typing, the breathing thing you do, the thoughts. Your thoughts. How you think is beautiful; how a thought comes to mind is…a miracle, how you operate, how you are; just you. In every sense of the word; all your blood cells, neurons, organs, your limbs, your soul. You are breathtaking, mashaa’Allaah.


You can’t control the things that happen to you but you can control the way you react to them. It’s all perception.
You Again (Movie)