The fact is... I'm just faking out. It's not good and it's not fine. And to fake out like you're doing good, everything's under control, damn it hurts a lot.
X: Are you ok?
Me: Yeah. Everything's going to be fine (No I'm not! Can't you people see that my heart here is shattering into countless pieces???)
I blew it off. Yeah It's my mistake. I know, saying sorry ain't helping. And, you're hurt too. Being fired as a p.a hurts me three. All i wanted to do is to makes things easier for you. I don't give a damn about how messy my life is. Cause it'd been a mess since back then. And it won't go any worse. Trust me. Having time of being alone in the room only makes shining drops flow down my cheek. It's only a few days left for Ramadhan. And Lailatul Qadr is just somewhere around the corner. I know. But I can't keep myself out from thinking this way. Negative, right? Alwani, be strong. Alwani, be calm. Alwani, try to see things in a positive way. Alwani, ... Easy to say. But, I'm trying hard eversince. Yet, where is the alwani I used to know?
Somehow, I missed the old times. Spending time together. Sharing problems, stories. Now, I barely know you. What you do. Where you're going. How's your life. What makes you happy that day. What pissed you off. Who you're dealing with. What you're eating. I know NOTHING. NOTHING. It's not your fault. It's mine. (=
No comments:
Post a Comment