I woke up today feeling meh. Rasa frustrated. Tahun ni tahun ke 10 kerja sini as regular staff. Kalau campur contract, dah 12 tahun. This is my first job. I don't have benchmarks to compare. Macam other colleagues, they have benchmarks. What are the dos and don'ts. Macamana nak improve. For me, I just follow. I don't know if this can be done ke. Or we should improve this way ke. I don't know. Takde benchmark kan. Sekadar boleh tiru cara colleagues deal.
Pagi ni, semua nota-nota kata good job, keep up the good work la, I throw it away. Buku2 nota lama pun. Dulu kan, nak sangat position Planner ni. Rasa gah. Masa tu baru masuk as Supply Chain Assistant. kerja key in data dalam Excel. Sebab ada literacy in Excel masa tu, my exboss hired me. Lepastu jadi CS. Bila jadi CS, I blew it up. They moved me jadi Buyer. Sebab CS ni multitask. The bosses catch that I struggle with multitask jobs. Bila jadi Buyer tu OK sikit. Then move jadi Production Planner. Kenapa nak position ni? Sebab kan Pengerusi Alumni. Bila pihak sekolah tanya kerja apa, diorang nak yang hebat-hebat. Tapi yang hebat-hebat tu mana ada masa nak layan pihak sekolah macam-macam ni. So kitorang yang kerja biasa-biasa ni la yang jadi AJK. Nama Production Planner ni relate sikit dengan Degree in Maths. But actually, kalau education, ada Course Supply Chain Management kalau tak silap.
Anyways. Kerja ni takde nilai. Setakat siapkan kerja. Dapat gaji. Being kind wouldn't get the job done. Orang pijak kepala kita. Kena jadi aggressive. But being aggressive ni is against my nature.
I asked myself, apa yang aku buat selama ni? Duduk depan laptop sakit belakang, sakit mata. Dapat apa? Ada bagi sumbangan pape ke? Takde. Takde nilai.
Kerja yang paling satisfying dulu kan, jadi Instructor masa Kem Permata Pintar. I never thought I can be an Instructor. Boleh je cakap kuat-kuat masa ajar kan. Tapi tulah, Masters tak habis. Bodoh pergi bercinta masa Uni. Sekali hancur bercinta tu. Hancur masters tu. Duit pun habis.
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