Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dgn jalan sabar dan mengerjakan
sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.

Al-Baqarah 2:45


Planning things.


Last week, during the weekdays, I was busy helping Mommy getting lil brother prepared with his things for his tertiary education's registration. But actually I don't help much. Except guiding lil of how to open a bank account. And accompanying Mommy in the car. Hehe. Settled. And there was like I don't really remember when. Mommy was kind of worried about lil brother. Since he's the eldest son. I bet any mother's soft spot is the eldest son(if they have any). We were having a meal. And Daddy and Mommy was reminding him of how to manage himself during his studies, not to wake up late, and stuff. I bet your parents did this. 

There was this one point.
Mommy : We need to plan our future.
Me : I planned.
I guess Mommy does understood what I meant.
Mommy : But there are times where things doesn't happen the way we planned.

Sometimes, there are point where those frustrations came back. Suddenly I was full of hatred, anger, where I thought of revenge. I felt like I've wasted some years. Too many things to remind me of the past. But until that one point, I really need to let things go. Kena redha. I really do. If not, it's like I was being cruel to myself, my family, my friends and him. Just by not letting myself happy. 

And I went for lil bro registration. And it's my first time and last I guess. My lil brother is big already! All the best. Here goes. Another Actuarial student in making. Yet, if people are interested in doing mathematics, or actuary, I will really suggest them to go do Statistics. More companies needs statisticians, instead of actuary or mathematicians. That's what I thought. It's kind of tough to get job by your major these days.

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal.

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You know what’s beautiful?

Your eyes blinking, your pupils dilating when you’re euphoric, the curve of your smile, the shade of your teeth, the arch of your back, the fingers typing, the breathing thing you do, the thoughts. Your thoughts. How you think is beautiful; how a thought comes to mind is…a miracle, how you operate, how you are; just you. In every sense of the word; all your blood cells, neurons, organs, your limbs, your soul. You are breathtaking, mashaa’Allaah.


You can’t control the things that happen to you but you can control the way you react to them. It’s all perception.
You Again (Movie)