Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dgn jalan sabar dan mengerjakan
sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.

Al-Baqarah 2:45

2010-12-05

Please. Take the memories away.

Salam.

Yesterday, the plan is to go somewhere nearby. To buy a gift for a friend's wedding. I'm expecting to go for a bookstore. Books. Somehow, we went KL instead. Using a route farther than it supposed to be. Somewhere, I started to feel sleepy and doze off. When I wake up, we passed by this suppose-to-be-forgotten place and that building. And now, the hurt is back. I hate this feeling. Please, just go awayyy~ You can keep the money. But please stay a far. The memories, keeps repeating inside my head. Too much from surroundings are taking the memories back to me. And I went quiet in the car. They asked why. Sorry. You can ask your students that question. But not me. I'm not your student. So I'm not answering.

ts.

We went for TS, Sg. Wang, BB. A friend treats us food. Then we went to search her new lappy. That's when I get bored. It's like you wander around a gadget shop without any thoughts of buying any and you don't feel impressed with the gadgets there. And wasted time waiting. Whereelse you felt like going wandering around to find nice skirt yet you stay still because you don't want them to think that you are being selfish but I know I'm being selfish. It's just like, when I want to buy stuff, I need time to think. And not just grabbing and paying no matter how much it costs because I feel like I was born with silverspoon. At Sg Wang, I saw a pair of shoes. Nice one. You know, when I get stressed out, not being myself, I'll look for shoes. Yet, they insisted on being quick. I only managed to try the left shoe and not both instead. Just because I pity the promoter that went all the way to find the size I requested. I hate it when people stop me from buying what I want. It's my money. Why are you bothering so much in stopping me? You're not even my dad/mum. DADDY gave that money to me. I felt disappointed. And stop myself from buying. Thus, I went wandering around alone for a while until a friend accompanied me to go hunting for a skirt. Nowadays, I hate wearing trousers. I prefer wearing baju kurung and skirts and jubah more. I'm looking forward in playing bowling while wearing baju kurung. Hehe.

We arrived college around 10. Met kakak at the stairs. She's baking kek batik. After prep tonight, I'll go search her to rob her cake. hehe. 

Today, a friend's wedding in PJ. Somehow, I don't feel like being myself today. You know, when you are excited to meet old friends but when it happened, it's as if you don't exist. Oh. I'm invisible. You cannot see me. I forgot. Darn.! It's TMNT. See! I didn't get to see TMNT also. Haish. So, I went cranky. Quiet. Only speaks to help out the driver to find the route back to college. 

Chatted with Angah for a while. Angah is supervising the psychiatric ward. And I'm asking her whether I can go there or not. Yup. It's a crazy idea. At least I know that Angah loves me. So, I need to smile, right? 

I don't wanna hear people talking about their masters. I'm suppose to be there. I don't wanna see signboard going to that not-suppose-to-go-place. I really hoped that I passed that exam with flying colours. I don't have friends. *haha. I just realized this. Pathetic me*

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal.

 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

let it remains...sbb lagi stress ble kite pakse die untuk pergi dari kite..tenang =)

You know what’s beautiful?

Your eyes blinking, your pupils dilating when you’re euphoric, the curve of your smile, the shade of your teeth, the arch of your back, the fingers typing, the breathing thing you do, the thoughts. Your thoughts. How you think is beautiful; how a thought comes to mind is…a miracle, how you operate, how you are; just you. In every sense of the word; all your blood cells, neurons, organs, your limbs, your soul. You are breathtaking, mashaa’Allaah.


:D

You can’t control the things that happen to you but you can control the way you react to them. It’s all perception.
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