I feel bad.

Salam.

Today, it's party time. Tapi masa nak cari space untuk buat event itu, macam rasa frust sangat sangat. Macam, memanglah nak buat kat court. Tapi court dah ada orang cop. Lampu takde. Nak cari orang nak pasang lampu. Takkan nak buat tengah tengah alam bagi orang lain terliur tengok. Memang, kelas lain akan buat juga, atau dah buat. Tapi, tak sedap hati. And the kids beria, and always excited tanya macam macam, tapi I am so frustrated, tak boleh nak senyum siap buat cerita tipu lagi."Cikgu, nak buat jamuan eh?" "Taklah. CIkgu beli barang tak sempat nak hantar kat bilik." Haish. Bulat bulat kena tipu kanak-kanak itu. Dan sekarang rasa sangat marah dengan diri sendiri. Nak minta maaflah. Sebab kanak-kanak itu baik. Walaupun kadang-kadang nakal lah kan. 

 

Awal tu memang tak boleh nak senyum. Ada students nampak dari bawah bagi signal suruh senyum. Cuma bila dah dapat spot tu, baru boleh nak senyum senyum, ketawa ketawa. Haha. Meja pingpong pun meja pingpong lah. Asal boleh jadi meja kan. I really hope they are happy. At first kata, kek Blackberry. Blackberry storm. "cikgu, blackberry storm tak sedap. Rasa besi je". Ada yang expecting it was durian.

Dahlah. benda dah lepas. Sekarang nak tidur. Esok bangun awal nak study. Macam macam. 

I end this post with a poem.

The don't quit poem.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 

When the funds are low and the debts are high, 

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 

When care is pressing you down a bit, 

Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, 

As every one of us sometimes learns, 

And many a failure turns about, 

When he might have won had he stuck it out; 

Don't give up though the pace seems slow-- 

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than, 

It seems to a faint and faltering man, 

Often the struggler has given up, 

When he might have captured the victor's cup, 

And he learned too late when the night slipped down, 

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out-- 

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 

And you never can tell how close you are, 

It may be near when it seems so far, 

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- 

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal.

p/s : when you used to hurt a human, and things somehow do goes right, you missed those times where both of you spend time talking to each other about anything. Somehow, when the chance is there, to chat, you don't know what to say. Not because you have nothing to say. But because you are so afraid that your words might hurt again. Yet you wanted the conversation to be longer.