Assalamualaikum
Life is hectic, stressful and messy nowadays.
Always rushing.
I hardly wake up early now. Kadnag bila terjaga at 2, susah nak tidur balik. End up about 7 baru bangun. Pumpampumpam, 8+ keluar rumah, send Aydan. Sampai office 9+. Bila sampai office, emotions dah x ok. Sebab dah stress drive nak sampai cepat. The adrenaline rush is no fun. Orang lain sampai office before 8. As per agreed dengan boss, dia kata my clocking is 830-530. Tapi now, asyik sampai lambat. Work efficiency is affected. Email tak habis baca. Report tak siap elok. PO tak habis issued. Then by 520 dah kena log off supaya by 530 dah kat dpn lif or dlm kereta. Sampai at Aydan about 615. Another rush. Kadang kesian dia tunggu lama. Kalau hujan lagi teruk. Traffic is even worse. Bila ada adik, IDK how to manage, what to expect. Macamni pun dah rasa penat. Ibu was like, kakla layan jela Aydan. Masa nak dapat iyah pun kakla super clingy. So dah jadi macam what comes around comea around la kan. I tried to stay calm, layan dia nak apa... But until one time, I'm very exhausted and snapped. Take 5. I will leave him for a while, then datang balik. Sebab taknak my words make him sad. But sangat sangat psycho bila kejap you like a breathing dragon then one while jadi setenang air di tasik. Aiman jadi saksi all. Sometimes, kalau Aiman is in a good mood, dia akan tolong entertain Aydan. Bawak Aydan bukak kasut, naik atas.
House is in a mess now, sebab tengah treatment anai2 so banyak tempat Aydan takle gi kat bawah tu. Just main kat atas je. And now tengah takde air. I'm trying hard nak clear laundry. Baju baju dah packing dah. But mentally I'm not ready yet.
Thank you & have a nice day,
Nor Alwani Binti Amran
Nor Alwani Binti Amran
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