Crap

Can't tell how crushed my heart is. Bila you did everything yourself for the sake taknak kena maki tak nak kena marah taknak nyusahkan WALAUPUN it's their obligation and people said, you don't love them. 

I stopped sharing my stories. Sebab people was busy and just want to sleep kan. Sleep is more important than anything else. So I told my stories to Aydan. Then, sibuk pulak nak ambil tahu. No use bercerita pada yang tak sudi. 

Last few days gigih pergi sana sini sorang sorang. I can't tell how painful my tummy is. Tak taulah it's tummy ke, uterus ke. But it's painful. Tak tau pun nak describe what it is. 

Everything kena buat sendiri kan. Angkat berat2 semua sendiri. Baju for laundry dari tingkat atas turun bawah. Dari bawah naik atas balik. Then bawak turun buang sampah kat luar bawah. Or dari dapur bawak luar. Or angkat Aydan turun with bags. Or bawak Aydan naik with bags. Or Aydan with raga baju. The tempat jahit dulu rasa makin sakit now. And I'm really worried tak dapat nak deliber normal this time. Bukan salah kakla I got pregnant. I blamed husband. I told him many many times taknak pregnant until Aydan is 2. And now, semua benda nak lepas tangan. Bila minta buang sampah bagi alasan, Aiman x buang langsung ke? Then said he won't throw. Dah kalau kau tak buang, aiman tak buang, sape nak buang? Aydan? Then you said, sayang bini. Bullshit! 

Thank you & have a nice day,
Nor Alwani Binti Amran