Not happy at work

Dear blog, 

I'm now working in a not happy feeling.

Each and everything that has been done now, is being questioned. 

All this while OK je. Why now?

Datang and balik cepat cepat nak ambil AYdan je. 

--

Thank you and have a nice day. 

Nor Alwani Binti Amran

niat itu mestilah kerana ALLAH s.w.t.

Baby sick

Assalamualaikum,
What I'm feeling now, everyday at work is to go home sharp 530 and pick up Aydan. Penat layan dia buy enjoying it. Cuma bila dah rushing and Aydan buat aksi tu yang tak tahan.

And I'm not happy at work. At all. Kata we act together tapi asyik nak main blaming game. Tak boleh ke tanya leklok. Why have to cc the whole world?

Sebab tu akan tak sabar nak balik. But time flies so fast. Kejap je aydan dah 8 months kan.

Love,
Noruaruwani

-Keep praying and stay calm-

Nursing and eating.

Assalamualaikum,

Masa lunch today, ada colleague timbulkan issue tayang hasil tuaian. Dalam erti kata lain, tayang berapa banyak susu yang dipam to public. Vural at FB katanya. I don't know. Jarang sangat bukak FB. Login, tengok notification, komen, or baca, then sign out. Tidur lagi best. So I dah faham why kawan kawan yang dah ada anak tak aktif FB sangat. Hihi. Ok, sambung. Katanya jugak dah ada mufti cakap, takle buat. Sebab nak macam aurat. Nanti buat orang lain imagine macam macam. And faham jugak, boleh buat orang lain sentap or jealous, kot ada yang hari tu susu drop ke, baru wean off tapi nak susukan anak lagi ke, etc.

Ceritanya, ada juga topik pasal nursing in public ni. Terasa so dengar jelah apa diorang nak komen. Benda salah, memang salah. But somehow, kalau boleh avoid, I know any mother pun akan avoid nursing in public. Masing masing cakap pasal ada cover but tak rimas ke anak tu nanti. Nursing pasal cover pun dah pernah buat. Kat meja makan pun pernah buat. Sebab nampak orang terdekat buat, I thought it's fine to do so. Segan memang segan. Kalau kat meja makan kat kedai, akan cari meja tersorok sikit, and cuba cover habis mungkin. And pakai nursing cover. Pernah, masa aydan kecik lagi, masa tunggu queue nak jumpa gynae, Aydan nak nyusu, tapi klinik takde mother's room, kalau nak kena pergi paeds yang kena berjalan sikit, so cari kerusi jauh jauh sikit and pakai nursing cover yang klinik sediakan. Tapi aduih, nursing cover ni tak sound proof. Tu pun sebab separuh hari kena tunggu queue.  If not, memang akan susukan Aydan before keluar. So at least, next feeding about 2 hrs, sempat la shopping apa apa kan. Or another option, pam susu siap siap and bawak. Susu fresh boleh tahan few hrs. Once, keluar makan malam, I always rejected offer untuk keluar malam dengan in laws. Tapi sekali ni, fikir nak ambil hati diorang la sebab asyik cakap tak join kan. Aydan memang routine malam fixed. About 7 pm ke 8 pm ke nak susu sambil baring until tertdo or nak susu few times then tido. So masa tu keluar makan malam, memang tak selesa sebab about pukul 8± aydan memang dah ngantuk nak tidur and, I know his routine tapi kena let go sebab orang nak main dengan Aydan and all. End up dia cranky and kena feed him lah kan. Nasib, ada surau and normally masa Isyak orang tak de kelam kabut nak pergi surau solat instead solat kat rumah sebab masa panjang. So dia dapat tidur la jugak. And all the while makan tu aydan was on my lap, sleeping. Ada nasi jatuh jatuh atas Aydan. And this is, the last time kluar makan waktu malam. If petang pukul 5 or 6, I'm okay. And I see keliling kedai makan tu, ada yang pukul 10 baru sampai kedai nak makan dengan bawak anak anak kecik ada yang lagi kecik dari Aydan kot, umur dalam 3 or 4 months. Kenapa, suka dera anak keluar malam macam tu? For me, cukuplah masa belum ada anak tu keluar malam semua. Kalau nak keluar malam makan oun, maybe after Aydan dah 1 years old, dah pandai cakap. Kesian ok.

Good thing is, now Aydan dah almost 8 months,dah boleh makan so if keluar makan, which is rarely, boleh feed him with food. Memang jarang keluar makan now. Once a month ada lah. Everything is expensive kan sekarang. If keluar,  bagi Aydan rice ke mashed potato ke. Rice tu sebijik sebijik, nak bagi dia kulum. Baru ni beli biskut yang finger tu, very handy, so boleh bagi Aydan pegang and makan sendiri. Memang buat dia leka.

Love,
Noruaruwani

-Keep praying and stay calm-

Sesak kali ini.

Dear,

Tadi masa amek Aydan, he's the last amongst his classmates masa balik. So teacher dah bawa dia ke depan tunggu with other classes. Aydan muntah sampai dua kali today. Due to his phlagm. Nak buat macamana lagi eh nak bagi hilang phlagm? My time is limited. Balik kerja, Aydan dah nak tdo. So tertdo sekali. Bangun 5 am siapkn brg nk hantar Aydan to school. Itupun kalau bjaya bangun 5am. Kalau tak, 6 or 630 jugak. Weekends takde kat rumah. My favorite weekend is staying at home golek2 with Aydan depan tv doing nothing. With the morning, I've dobe my laundry. And kalau sempat, pagi tu dah g grocery kejap. That is the best. Takyah sampai nak gi Perth ke NZ bagai. So now, Aydan tdo bunyi2, kalau lepas pukul 12 mesti terjaga dah. Dah jadi ibu kena rajin kan. Nanti ibu cari Salbutamol lagi.

Actually nak cakap pasal sesak. Tadi masa nak dismiss dengan teacher, she asked, tahun depan hantar Aydan lagi? InsyaAllah. Then teacher cakap pasal yuran naik. Oh tak perasan pun pasal surat yuran tu. Naik lagi 200. Tapi, what other options do I have? The environment is very nice. People pun baik. And above all, rasa senang hati nak gi kerja. Ya Allah. Permudahkanlah. I dunno with my current work, i'm able to get a raise next year. I really have to. 10%.

Love,
Noruaruwani

-Keep praying and stay calm-

Bad Monday

Hello,

Feels like today is a bad Monday.
I hate morning chaos. The drivers drives crazily, kat bulatan pun nak drive laju2 masuk lane orang. Jalan dah takle lalu pun nak lalu jugak and taknak give way to other people untuk bagi jalan tu lagi senang untuk dia lalu lagi lagi bila dia nya jalan/turn.

I woke up late this morning. Being cranky, suddenly. Amasa drive marah2 sampai Aydan pun tiba tiba terdiam. Like, does baby knows if we're angry? And above all, arrived late at office for the seratus lima puluh juta kali.

Bought bekal sebab taknak kuar lunch.

Love,
Noruaruwani

-Keep praying and stay calm-

Feeding FM to baby during hospital after labour

Assalamualaikum,

There would be many reasons of why, FM will be given to the newborn. Although, the mother insisted breastfeeding. Paling bagus if, bagi birth plan. Buat few copies, and Doc sign. Satu copy letak dlm file kat hospital, satu simpan. Tapi kalau diorang don't bother about it, takle nak buat apa jugak la kan. But still, yang susah kita jugak nanti.

I find this FM thing is important. Masa bersalin Aydan dulu, bersalin by czer. And bukan through normal process. Reason? Stated dalam form is Fetal distress. Actually, there's many reasons, and one of it was,  masa waterbag burst, the color is a bit yellowish. That's what Doc and abg said. And it shows baby dah berak. This actually shows Fetal distress. So lepas dah bersalin, I cannot go to Aydan due to the drip. And Aydan pun ada drip antibiotic sebab dah berak tu kan. And nobody was there with me that time. A very hard decision. But, they provided a form to sign. It wasn't a whole page pun. Just macam kertas MC je. And I asked the nurse, the amount yang akan diberi, how frequent, guna alat apa. Masa tu, they give guna syringe. About 5-10 ml. And frequency, is every 2 hrs I think. Still ok. Then dah dapat susukan Aydan, glucose level Aydan pulak drop. So bagi FM lagi, again, they gave cara sama, amount sama. Kena buat 3 reading so if OK can keluar. Alhamdulillah Aydan did good. So, by the time keluar hospital, still dapat kejar his demand.

Tahu tak, bila baby lahir ni perut dia besar sebiji kacang hijau je. Kalau omputih, sebut Pea. Besar tu je. Sebab tu bila baru baru tu kolostrum tu tak banyak mana pun. Tapi the tummy will expand bila demand baby meningkat.

What happened today was, a clinic ni bagi baby baru lahir about 2 oz of FM guna botol! Why tak boleh guna botol? Sebab taknak baby confuse. Taknak baby reject from latching. Luckily this baby ni latch and memang menyusu. Cumanya, supply mother belum cukup lagi la kan. Sebab baru 3 hari and supply susu baru nak build up. Kolostrum ni kan sikit sikit je, mana nak dapat terus 2 oz... 2 oz ni macam demand Aydan masa 3 bulan tau. I compare dengan Aydan je. Kalau ikutkan demand Aydan tak tinggi sangat. Back to the story, So the baby keeps crying sebab lapar. The mother becomes so stressed. Dahlah first time mother, tak tau apa pun kan. Last last I berjaya persuade the mother to let me feed the baby. Tertido la jugak la baby tu kan. Haha.

How else can I help? I'm buntu.

Love,
Noruaruwani

-Keep praying and stay calm-

Aydan turned 6 months 😀

Assalamualaikum,
Alhamdulillah, Aydan turned 6 months last week. Now, dilemma nak bagi makan pula. Starting to give plain porridge. Reallyyy plain. And fine. Esok nak buat kasi pekat pula.
The nursery staffs keeps asking to give the nestum or cerelac semua tu. Teacher je tak push. Teacher just suggest bagi nasi campur sup and blend. Bagi halus. Hoh. Bila nak cari blender ni.

Love,
Noruaruwani

-Keep praying and stay calm-

Rasa sesak.

Assalamualaikum,

Suddenly, realizing today that it feels stiff. With all the expenses. Stressnya.

Sent from my Sony Xperia™ smartphone

Thank you and have a nice day,
Noruaruwani
-Keep praying and stay calm-

Makeup - current favs

Assalamualaikum,

During school, I'm one of many that have to fight with acne. Mother. Spent a lot for skincare items for me. Having acne,  though not as bad as some people, does take away some of my confidence level. And going to a girl's school during lower form, does helped me in gaining my confidence back. Tak perlu nak malu sangat dah. So when I started work I did invested in high ends skincare brands. But do bear in mind,  at that time, I already meet the Gynae and the dermatologist. So the acne problem actually was caused by PCOS. I'll share about my PCOS journey some other time. 

Masa jumpa Dermatologist, and it was during Degree, guna Cetaphil. After a while, it doesn't worked anymore. So bila dah start kerja, I tried Clinique, and I was obsessed. Not only daily skincare nak guna Clinique,  make up pun nak brand Clinique juga. Foundation, Lippies pun nak juga. Sometimes dapat free mascara or eye liner. Until, wife adik ipar letak Mary Kay as hantaran. And
 She gave a good feedback. So, masa kahwin, muka start problem balik. Bila set Clinique dah habis, I moved to Mary Kay pula. Dah 3 months,  dah notice improvement. And still using until now. Cuma, masa start Mary Kay ni, dah start balik with PCOS treatment. So can be factor juga. Yes, I go for high ends. Sebab dulu dah pernah guna yang murah or locally and and it doesn't worked. But I never tried DNars. Ada orang review bagus.

So for make ups,  I do spend a lot too. Now dah tau what's nice and nak hbskn apa yg ada. My cosmetic item, I'll put expiry and the date I started using. So that I know this item berapa lama baru habis. Or bila dah expired, and kena buang. Muka sensitif kan. Hihi. Mostly, belum expired dah habis guna dah. Eyeshadow jelah tak habis habis.

On left is Laura Mercier's setting powder in trial pack. Beli masa kena andam orang dulu. Now nak habiskan. This powder is nice. Padanlah mak andam pakai. 

Right is Foundation Duo by Victoria Jackson(VK) . Macam Creme Foundation. I am not a fan of creme foundation tapi sebab now muka normal/dry since lepas bersalin. Dulu muka jenis normal to oily. 

I'll wear these together.

Mary Kay CC Cream

Untuk masa malas nak pakai Creme Foundation. Hoho!

Concealers.

Atas: Mary Kay

Bawah: Revlon

Will pick nak guna ikut mood. Dah habis nanti, nak beli Age Rewind Maybelline pula. Dah masuk Watson's yay!

Yang bawah ni yg dlm hand bag, khas untuk kalau tak sempat make up kat rumah. Dalam kereta la gamaknya. 

Left: VK powder

Right:  ZAblusher

Atas: Clinique Quickliner for Eyes - very nice for my sensitive eyes. Tapi $$$ betul. Now nak tengok can tahan berapa lama untuk habis

Bawah: Urban Decay 24/7 waterliner - can tahan smudge most of the time if pakai at waterline bwh mata

Atas: Clinique Lengthening Mascara - senang nak basuh guna air tapi kalau kuat peluh senang smudge.

Bawah: Revlon Bold Lacquer? Waterproof. Not clumpy.

If nak waterproof, I'll use Revlon's.

I have sensitive eyes,  so I prefer Clinique's. Tapi $$$ la. Now dah ada anak, memang terasa. Masa belum ada anak, tak terasa sangat. So menabung la sikit kalau dah nak sangat kan. 😀

All in all, kalau muka bukan jenis sensitif,  and tak suka make up, beli brand kat Watsons ke Guardian ke Caring ke pun OK dah. Kalau nak gi Sephora, brand NYX pun murah dan OK lagi. Mohon jangan terjebak.

So that's all.

Take careee.

Took me 2 hrs to type using fon. My tempered glass retak. Keyboard jadi high wire. 

 -Noru

It's 3 am and a mother will be awake.

Salam.

It's 3 am and I'm still awake. Not sure yet if nak balik rumah in laws or stay at home cleaning for Aidiladha. Fahmi will be helping out with Korban back at his hometown. Aidilfitri dah celebrate with in laws, so we'll just stay at home. I mean, Raya with my parents. Sounds fair to me. :)

A colleague was telling that I looked thinner. Doesn't lose much weight pun since start balik kerja ni. I mean, weight is still the same. Just that, most of my skirts is loose at the waist. If nak change wardrobe will be like $$$. But yeah, I'm happy with my new weight. Another 1 or 2 kgs to reach the weight during degree. Hehe.

Dah. Mari tidur. Gotta wake up at 515 am. I'm tired of arriving office after 830 am. Boss tak marah. But I feel bad. Keberkatan gaji. So kena balik after 530 pm. End up sampai kat Aydan almost 630 pm. Pity Aydan too.

Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal. “The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.” :D

Done.

I gave up.

Mengidam nak masak Baked Macaroni 😀

Assalamualaikum,

Mengidam nak masak baked Macaroni for more than 1 week. Eventually, today berjaya juga! My second time hehe. Abg said it's perfect. Me? Rasa a bit too creamy. Selalu ibu buat,  berkuah sikit. And, I thought ada carrots in the fridge. I thought wrong! So nampak pale. And macaroni banyak, makan dua orang tak habis. Memang kena buat delivery hantar rumah ibu.  Hehe. Esok 3rd day MC. Moga diri cepat sembuh. Kalau tak kena stay rumah je weekends ni.

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New game plan

Assalamualaikum all,

There's so much to share. Yet limited time to write.
I'm in a lil stress situation trying to adapt with this new situation. 4th day sending Aydan to nursery. Since resume working after Raya, I'd been arriving office late. 9 am plus. Where else office hours are 8-5. I was totally upset. Screwep up my plans. I need to pickup my work by this week. At the same time to resume training a colleague. Some more, trying to pump 3x a day. Each session 30 mins. So spend like 2 hrs for pumping session and prayer. And too, trying to arrive office by 815 so that I don't have to leave office at 530 pm. By that time, I'm afraid won't be able to pick Aydan by 630. Nursery closes at 630pm, latest 645pm. Need to wake up earlier. By 730am, MUST leave house.

And these few months, I'd been buying things related to Aydan. His clothes. Nursing bras. Can I buy a new handbag? So that can sumbat more barang easier bila keluar rumah. 😔

Sent from my Sony Xperia™ smartphone

Thank you and have a nice day,
Nor Alwani
-Keep praying and stay calm-

Day 18 of confinement

Salam.

Alhamdulillah it's 18th day of confinement. I'm still in healing process. And adapting to meet Aydan's needs. Kenapa dia nangis, apa nak buat kalau dia colic. And all.
Somehow, ibu keep saying he's a nice baby. Dia jaga ibu dia supaya ibu dia dapat rehat. Alhamdulillah, kalau Aydan jaga nak nyusu dia akan nyusu lama lama sampai dia kenyang and tidur. Bukan nyusu sikit sikit je. Thank you Aydan. Ibu dapat jugak rest. Rasa dah sihat tapi takle over. Baca macam2 pasal sakit urat etc buat rasa sangat psycho. Haha.
Makanan pantang? Sedap alhamdulillah. Ke sebab ibu and umi masak sedap ke kan. Tapi bila part kena makan ikan haruan tu... Bercinta habislah kan. Haha.
Macam macam nak cerita kat sini. I'll find time.

 Kalau tak ikhlas, buat apa pun tak jadi. Usaha doa tawakal. “The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.” :D




 

Kenapa nak kahwin?

Salam.
I'm writing this in an upset mood.
Kenapa nak kahwin? Kalau nak anak, kahwinlah. Kalau taknak, takyah kahwin. Ada laki ni buat perabis duit je. Tak pun ganggu emosi je. Dah ada anak bini, tinggalkan anak bini tengah tengah malam gi rayau naik motor, naik keta. Minum konon. Kat rumah takle buat air sendirik?ALLAH s.w.t. Tak cakap pun xde laki takle masuk syurga.

Thanks and have a nice day!

Keep praying and stay calm.
-Nor Alwani Binti Amran-

Sent from my Sony Xperia™ smartphone

33weeks & counting

Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah, I'm at my 33weeks today, and still counting. 

Praying that baby will come out after 37weeks, healthily, without any complications. 

And managed to grow well, belajar, masuk U, kerja yang bagus, kahwin dan jadi suami yang baik dan beranak pinak, bercucu cicit, bahagia sampai di Syurga. 

I have to start reciting nice doas and stay positive. 

This, indeed, is not an easy pregnancy. 

Usaha nak conceive, although not as long as some other people, yet, takes us one journey, that's have lots of bumps. 

So, we're really hoping that I'll manage to deliver this baby healthily. 

Siang tadi check up, our normal Doc is on leave. So another Doc attended us. All this while, Dr K was being a bit laid back, I mean, she don't make us worry much. Datang, scan, tengok saiz, then OK. 

But this Doc somehow hits our attention. Dia cakap baby M a bit small than supposed to be. By right patut 2 kg dah. but now baru 1.8kg. Tak sure if memang baby kecil, but logically, both me and Fahmi bukanlah bersaiz kecil. But if baby memang kecil but everything is good, then that is one less problem. Doc asked to monitor closely if baby is having enough movements every day. more than 10 in 12 hours. Siap bagi table to fill in. SO we need to come again next week to do DOppler test (I have to read about this) and meet up Dr K. 

I(we) really really hope that everything goes well. InsyaALLAH. 

I'm at 32weeks this time. 

Thanks and have a nice day!

Keep praying and stay calm. 

- Noruaruwani

28weeks & counting

Assalamualaikum,

My first post here regarding my pregnancy. 

Alhamdulillah, I'm at 28 weeks last weekend. 

Counting days, and budget of course. 

Nervous takyah cakaplah, memang taknak fikir lagi. 

To buy list pun still banyak lagi. 

Trying hard not to membazir. 

Things are quite expensive nowadays. 

This weekend, kelas Amani starts, I don't know what to expect. 

Tapi rasa excited ! 

Me and abam have some names to shortlist.

Expecting a boy, as he's showing off his 'bird' twice during Scan. 

First with the Doc, 2nd with the staff doing Detailed Scan.

Muhammad Dhani, Muhammad Daud, Muhammad Wadi

I was trying hard to find nice names having some letters from both our names. Nor Alwani & Muhammad Firdaus. 

Abam in fact had started calling baby, Daud, I always picture orang yang nama Daud ni baik baik. And rasa dah lama tak dengar orang nama ni. 

But I liked nama Wadi more, due to tengok ada cerita watak nama Wadi kat tv3 dulu. hehe. 

Masa gather dengan in laws, they asked abam nak letak nama apa. 

Abam said at first wants to put Fahmi, Then it becomes Daud. 

The next day, on our way home, I asked him, kenapa abang cerita nak letak nama apa? Diorang masa pregnant takde nak bising bising pun nak letak nama apa tapi tanya kita pulak. 

Abam answered, "B, tau tak macamana perasaan excited nak jadi ayah?"

Awww... My heart touched. 

Nanti tanya lagi baby dia nak nama apa. Last time baby tak decide lagi. 

Hoping baby will grow healthily. Amin, InsyaAllah.

--

Thank you and have a nice day. 

Noruaruwani

niat itu mestilah kerana ALLAH s.w.t.