dear blog..

Frustration, depressed, hurt..is always a part of life..u cant say dat ur living unless u've been through these all d way..say, dat ur day 2day is bad..well,sumwon elses day is worst..worst than wut u may think..
U can say anything..I can say anything..all dat I want 2 say 2 make me feel greatful wif wat i get..2 make me happy..2 make people think dat im happy..n dats wat i always say to myself..i must be strong..
i dont know whether i do love him or not..but he makes me stop hoping of F..he do..but if i really love him, i guess dat i should back off instead..rather than bugging on his life..he deserves a life..n i dont wanna ruin what he's been working for all these while..alwani,let him go..he's not urs..he's only a friend..n NOT URS..
its hurt knowing dat u should go away..dats d hardest thing i could do..but,wat else should i do then?somebody,could u tell?

dugaan day..

hola..
wanna write in here bout yesterday..
a frustration day..

yesterday morning,i woke up kind of late. slept late. so,wake up latelah. but i went to pusan. to buy new clothes,bcoz i want to send zaira going japan.sgt smgt until i bought a new clothing.
then,d car broke down..hurm,,wat to do..but stil,its sad though..thinking dat i bought new clothes to wear yesterday..n made a card 4 her..then i couldnt make it..sorry,my fwen.. by my prayers will always b wif u..may u succeed n live a good live there..amin..

but dats not all..
i was shocked,skt ati bcoz of a news..
but,wat should i do then?
i could only b patient.. n accept wat happened s it is.. s a lesson 4 me.. so that it wont happen again.. n not to trust one just like that.. especially when u really know him for only 2 months.. hurt though..

but, last night..its a kepuasan 4 me.. coz i really went n support ila 4 her match.. kuo's group made it to semifinal.. n if they win tonite, they're going to be in final.. really hope dat they won.. =) but i couldnt really watch the match.. bcoz of another comitment.. but i could have a peek,perhaps? thinking dat d comitment is just around the panggung seni.. so,a peek 4 tonite's match i'll do..
the situation where i cnnt send zaira is frustrating..but its not dat frustrating when being compared wif where i'm being fooled.. I dont know how i trusted n believed in all the tall tales dat was created.. really must b tabah..
teringat segenggam tabah..

Bertali arus dugaan tiba
Menakung sebak airmata
Namun tak pernah pun setitis
Gugur berderai di pipi
Tidak ditempah hidup sengsara
Suratan nasib yang melanda
Menongkah badai bergelora
Diredah bersendirian
Bagaikan camar pulang senja
Patah sayapnya tetap terbang jua
Sekadar secicip rezeki
Buat yang sedang rindu menanti
Segenggam tabah dipertahankan
Buat bekalan di perjalanan
Kau bebat luka yang berdarah
Kau balut hati yang calar

Telah tertulis suratan nasibmu
Derita buatmu ada hikmahnya
Terlukis senyum di bibir lesu
Tak siapa tahu hatimu
Biarpun keruh air di hulu
Mungkinkah jernih di muara
Biarpun jenuh hidup dipalu
Pasti bertemu tenangnya

n always remember,watever dats happening,never make think about it so much..bcoz,if i think about it too much, then it will effect watever im into..

as mummy n kak yuz said, i must focused in my studies.. n new zealand, here i come..

mr vektor,mr algeb,mr prob,mr mnw,mr titas,mr kru wait 4 me..i promise that i'll study hard starting now..especially wif u mr algeb..[spirit smile]

yesterday,out from ukm

yesterday i went out. out from ukm. with pure maths students. first time went out wif them. all of the r kajai n im d only one uo but i dont care. bcoz i want to go out. out from ukm. i want to go home. but mummy says i cnt. bcoz daddy, mummy, iyah, are2, aiman, yusuf, aisyah is going babk to kmpg. only k ani dont follow. coz she must 'jage' the house. =P then, what's de point of me going home but i cannot bully iyah,are2,aiman,yusuf n aisyah? better stay n face ukm n STUDY aljbr, calculus ,alam, statistic. lol. pk ngah attacked by strok.no severe. but stil,its strok. cian pak ngah. n iyah wants to take her spm result in her skool at perak. dats y they want to go back. n want 2 c tok. long tim dont c tok. huhu =(

yesteraday is n exhausted day. bcoz we went ot at 1 so that dnt have to face the jam when the guys r back from their prayer. then waited2 n waited until the kmtr arrives. the movie is at 330. so, we linger around until its time. thinking of going home at around 6. bt we all end up arriving kmtr ukm at 1030pm. exhausted. tired. haha. nvr been out until night. bcoz usually i went out at 10 in the morn n bck at home latest around 6pm. but nice. especially when in the ktm boat. or watever dat crap is called. n there is a 'radio' singing pencinta wanita song. dedicated for kaka perhaps. haha. its nice. hanging out wif coz mate. bcoz normally i went out wif stats or biotech tum stdnts. done.

the spririt xpernah luntur..

today,i wake up by feeling very sleepy. slept late last night. have a chat wif iyah. telling her lots. bout me,my past, my present, n little of what i dnt want to happen. yet i ddnt gi through files n find what's imprtant n needed for speech. s the title is 'How different zodiacs express their love.' so, i'm kind of just reading about dis crap. n i dnt want to rmmbr any of it. not a single dtail.

n now, its going 2 b thursday b tomorrow. yet i didnt manage to get any penggerai for hari kluarga. i promised to abg n & dats wat i'm trying to do. 2 keep my promises. ssh sng bersama. ^_^

it's just dat lately i've been thinking lots. n keep thinking. especially about my algebra. my result sux. n i'm blaming myself. coz i aint working hard enough 4 d past exam. but still, i felt sgt malu coz my marks sgt rndh compared to my fwens.well, what pass had passed. now i must get dat 70% 4 my algebra. BY HOOK OR BY CROOK. It's a must. n s Pn Norainon siad b4, YAKIN BOLEH TENTU BOLEH!! 4 words dat i cnt forget. never. n my spirit of studying STATISTICS came back. n IM LOVING IT!! now i hav the feeling of studying.

lots of work to do. FIRST THINGS FIRST!!

just dat im kind of happy today.

amin came n visited me at kuo. nice. harhar. but pity of him. coz he just finished his work around 530 n then came kuo. but so nice. missed other plkn fwens. when will i c them again?
hopefully when semester break,can have the gathering settled. must discuss wif naim. discuss after final exam.again, AFTER FINAL EXAM.

ok, i'm done ere. now to the blog in fster.

today

i cried. i'm hurt. n i'm depressed. lot's of work. n time is running. i help others. but not myself. i'm almost give up. but i cant. ALLAH dont like people who gives up. so, listened to al-quran reciting. to cure myself. my heart. my soul. mine. i'm better than just now. seriously.

calculus day

i'm starving!!
damn hungry.
n the cafe ain't open. shoot. suppose dat its already open since thn baru cina is already like few days back. n dont tell me that the cafe people celebrate it. coz i'm not believing it. by hook or by crook. n today's my calculus day. sgt best learning calculus.tomorrow must study stats. i know nothing about it. darn! hurm. whatever. as long as i'm hardworking enough, n always do my prayers, insyaALLAH i'll succeed. well, dis sem i MUST get 4.0 though. OMG! i did nothing about my Alam. the assignment. do it tomorrow or tonight then. dont want to lose my concentration wif calculus. harhar. miSsed Shah. Funny though.

back in ukm..harhar

I woke up kind of early dis morn.well, kind of early coz myst get ready for "back to UKM" stuff.But still,arrive at UKM around 1pm.hurm..nothing much happened today.its just dat,suddenly i must blanje kodomo ice-cream.da~ wait til he tuntutlah..very2 like kodomo.merajuklah.want to give him karipap,he dont want.watever.as long as he's HAPPY.

the day called monday

crap.dis morning i didnt wake as i'm supposed to.thinking dat i could wake up early to study my aljabar.n finished whatever unfinished day.supposed dat im fasting today.but i break my fast.wif nida n ajan i have my 'lunch'.ort of.but im not in the mood today. quite tensed actually.wif tons of works.n 2 papers tomorrow.duh.if only i prepared earlier.if only,right?serves me right.can't hardly wait till dis sunday.meeting shah.missed him lots.especially he's been in sbh.da~ as if ive been meeting him when he's in sjung.nvrmind.really looking forward till dis sunday~
back wif my aljabar.