Assalamualaikum,
There's a part of myself feels totally giving up, useless, me not being around doesn't makes any different. Giving up on life. But diri banyak dosa, takut mati.
My body pun is shutting down. Feeling pain all over. When you doesn't feel loved, rasa macam mayat hidup.
Everything that I do sux. At work, like I'm so lousy. Tak ajar betul2, I have taught semua sama macam what I did to Siew Ping masa maternity dulu. Nak kena explain myself.
At home, I lost control of myself. Jerit, tengking tu makanan harian dah. I'm totally breaking down inside. Sekarang dah malas nak reach out anyone. I can count how many words I communicate with my husband. Text semua tak reply but phone 24/7 kat tgn. Feels so isolated.
Weekends dah malas nak gi mana2. Maybe just balik rumah Enma je. CAuse Aydan wants to.
I tried so hard to fix myself and my heart. Apparently it doesn't work really well.
Thank you, and have a nice day.
Nor Alwani Binti Amran
-Sent from my iPhone
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