Sampai bila nak lari?

Salam.

I bet, semua orang pun ada bad memories kan. Dan from those bad memories tu, sedaya mungkin nak DELETE semua tu dari ingatan and nak DELETE orang yang terlibat tu dari LIFE. Dan for sure semua orang pun akan ada trauma2 yang tersendiri. Tiada? Tiiiiipulah. Okay. Okay. I believe. =)

If only life is just as simple as that. Macam bila tulis post kat blog. Tak suka, delete. Tak suka, sorokkan dari orang lain baca. If and only if.

I have those feelings. Masa lepas SPM dulu, I was forced to join ada program ni. Dari program tu, I made friends with loads of people. Dan dari ramai2 tu  I have these few people yang somehow throughout life, makes me feels traumatic with them. Cam seboleh mungkin nak laaaari jauh2 taknak jumpa diorang langsung sampai lah mati. Sebab tak suka. Takut. Fear. Semua2 yang negatif pun datang. (Macam bila jumpa maskot. Maskot tu tak buat apa pun tapi perasaan nak lari jauh jauh tu sangaaaat lah tinggi menggunung) I still have friends from that programme yang I still keep in touch. So, we gathered end of last last year. And somehow, those people yang I don't wanna meet tu came. (Those - more than 1) Luckily, I have my sister tagging along. Thanks sister. COme on lah. Sampai bila nak lari, kan? Sebab those person tu pun are making friends with my friends. So somehow akan jumpa mereka lagi. I just hoped that mereka dah berubah. Dah tak macam suka paksa2 orang. I really hated those people that forced me doing something against my priciple. Ok ok. kadang2 tu bertolak ansurlah juga, Tapi kadang2 mmg tak boleh. So, bila tak boleh tu and people keep forcing me, I will be like sgt2 marah tapi cuba lagi nak bermuka manis. Yup. Hipokrit. I hate when I'm being hypocrite. And the next time, memang jangan haraplah I nak ajak jumpa insan2 itu lagi. Sebab TRAUMA. Melainkan TERPAKSA. (Macamlah I ni perfect sangat kan?)

Dan semasa program tu, I was naughty friendly sikit. Cubalah bayangkan. Form 1-3, tak mix dgn boys sgt. And then form 4-5 masuk ALL girls boarding school. And jadi PRS. So, masa program tu macam, making friends; girlfriends, boyfriends and macam extrovert sikit. SIkit je. Hehe. Alaaaaa. Buat2 lah percaya. =P

So, masa gathering last2 year tu, those peeps yang datang pun macam mengungkit my story masa programme tu. Haih. Tu lah. Siapa suruh jadi gatal friendly sangat. Tapi that's the past. I dah moved one with my life. And happier with what I have currently, Families, families families and and and macam2 families lah.

It's just that, these past few days I found group made specially utk programme tu. So I joined it. In FB, I didn't use my nickname masa program tu. So they was like, which one am I, which one are you, can you describe yourself. Bila nak describe, takkan lah nak ungkit balik apa yang dh lepas masa program tu kan? Kisah tu kan patutnya dah tanam dah. (mesti u all pening kan). Takpe takpe. Diorang dah tengok gmbr dah. So diorang macam kenal lah. kot. Hehe. Cumanya... Those yang I'm running from tu tak add me as friend lagi. And I'm afraid they might add me. Betul2 afraid ni. (Menggeletar). And even my bestfriend from that program boleh nak ugut nak suggest me to those people. Sangat kejam. Apa punya kawanlah kan. Tapi tu lah. Dah kata kawan. Jadi kena SABAR BANYAK2 dengan dia. Haih.  

I don't know whether by joining that group is a good decision or not. I really hope it's a good one. Setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya, kannnnnnnn?

Adakah melarikan diri daripada mereka means that I'm being mean and not fair to them? Tapi mereka beri saya trauuuma.

Okay. Okay. Fikir positif. EVerything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

So, cahaya, sampai bila nak lariiiiii? Face it girl. FAce it.

Nak pergi belajar silat dari bapak+basri+akmal+iyah lah macam ni. =)